Trump Family again profits from Presidency

"The Associated Press, via the Boston Globe, reports that earlier this month, “Ivanka Trump’s company won provisional approval from the Chinese government for three new trademarks, giving it monopoly rights to sell Ivanka brand jewelry, bags and spa services in the world’s second-largest economy.”

What’s significant is that the trademarks were awarded on April 6 — which just happened to be the same day that the Trump family entertained Chinese President Xi Jinping at Trump’s private Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida."

http://www.rawstory.com/2017/04/ivanka-trump-awarded-3-china-trademarks-on-the-same-day-she-dined-with-chinese-president-report/

Rachel Maddow Has Lost Her Mind & People Are Noticing

Donald Trump In Alternate Reality With Reform Talk

Is Donald Trump in an alternate reality when it comes to touting his legislative accomplishments? The Morning Joe panel discusses Trump's remarks Tuesday about manufacturing and health care.

When Airlines Attack

Monday Toon Roundup

Trump















Spicer




Bannon



Billo




Corporations



English





Korea











Turkey




Syria



I/P

 

Putin Addressing G-A-S Attack Using Logic & Facts

MIT Professor Debunks Media & White House & On S-Y-R-I-A G-A-S Attack

Geraldo Nuts In Pants Watching Video Of M-O-A-B

Democrats Abandon Winnable Seat In Kansas

The Jimmy Dore Show is a hilarious and irreverent take on news, politics and culture featuring Jimmy Dore, a professional stand up comedian, author and podcaster.

With over 5 million downloads on iTunes, the show is also broadcast on KPFK stations throughout the country. It is part of the Young Turks Network-- the largest online news show in the world.

Another insane goddamn day

By TheFerret

Well folks, while not quite up to standards of some of the more chaotic trips around the sun since the Marmalade Shartcannon took office, I hope everyone invested in fertilizer manufacturers, because today was another Bat Guano Nutty Day.

We all woke up and immediately checked in on that deleted scene from V FOR VENDETTA where the guy gets bloodied in the process of being dragged off an airplane by law enforcement for refusing to give up his seat when the airline wanted to give it to an employee on an overbooked flight after he'd already boarded.

Wait, what? That was real life? You're shitting me.

Anyhow, we all watched in awe as the brass at United took the, shall we say "novel" approach of blaming the dude they had the cops beat the shit out of for the ass-kicking they ordered to be administered to him.

In the background, maybe you saw some of the pieces that rounded up the responses to a PRIVATE FUCKING CORPORATION ENLISTING TAXPAYER FUNDED LAW ENFORCEMENT TO BEAT THE FUCK OUT A PRIVATE CITIZEN BECAUSE THEY APPARENTLY RESERVE THE LEGAL RIGHT TO TAKE BACK THE SEAT YOU PAID FOR AT ANY POINT PROBABLY UP TO AND INCLUDING THIRTY THOUSAND FEET ABOVE THE ROCKIES HOW THE FUCK DID WE LET IT COME TO THIS from supporters of the man we all pay to golf and periodically sign executive orders, and, surprise surprise, THEY TOOK THE AIRLINE'S SIDE. We didn't know just how much hunger there was in this country for a strong, sadistic, authoritarian state, did we? In related news, I'm launching a kickstarter to fund a series of dominatrix parlors in the Rust Belt. HILLBILLY ELEGY PART TWO, BITCHES.

Of course the same little Shartkins are apparently flocking to Bill O'Reilly's show, actually BOOSTING his ratings in the midst of the revelations that Fox has settled a number of sexual harassment suits against an old man who very clearly has to pay for sex. I tell you, folks, the Deplorable economy offers a number of unique opportunities. It's like "Well, I'm looking for someone to redo the shingles on my roof, but I'm hoping to hire somebody reprehensible. Do you have any multiple rapists on staff?"

And we all had a laugh that the congressman who is famous for screaming YOU LIE at President Obama going home to a town hall where a bunch of his constituents screamed YOU LIE at him, which has a fun sense of comeuppance to it. This congressman likely has a name, but I don't give a flying fuck what it is.

We learned that the Shart may have bombed Syria (or at least some useless gravel in Syria, since the Syrian military launched strikes from the base we bombed less than 24 hours after we hit it, can't these people even blow up a stationary target without fucking it up?) because his daughter told him to, which is a totally normal thing that happens in all developed countries with strong constitutional democracies. OR IS IT? Maybe Ivanka will get equally upset at all the children who were killed in the recent Mosul air strike or the botched Yemen raid, and Dorito Mussolini will order a strike on the perpetrators, without realizing exactly what he's done until the sandtrap on the 8th hole at Marmalago gets an unplanned expansion.

The President's Loyal Huntin' Dawg Beauregard, our Yokel General, was all over the news again today. A couple of days back, he made it clear that he didn't want our Justice Department focusin' on no civil rights, and today he ordered them to instead focus all available energies on punishing brown-skinned people for the high crime of not being white. Much was made of how his prepared remarks used the word "filth" to describe his preferred targets, but how he declined to actually call them "filth" in the delivering of the speech. Because that's the state of the immigration debate in American today, right? Whether or not we call our fellow human beings "filth." Anyhow, Sessions got a good sturdy taint punt today when a federal judge struck down Texas' super-racist voter ID law just for being ridiculously super-racist. Because we still have to argue about poll taxes. In the United States of America. In the 21st century. Sleep tight. By the end of the day, Ol' Beauregard was assurin' the press that the cawngruss would mos' happily make Americuhns pay for that big 'ol border wall, because...well, because there's no reading test to run for the Senate in Alabama, I guess. After giving his last interview, Sessions returned to chewin' on an old shoe by the fireplace.

Rex Tillerson, who is our Secretary of State because he's a rich guy who...(shit, man, I need Mad Libs to finish that sentence because I've never found one halfway compelling reason this Oil Stooge was made our top diplomat) made some headlines by wondering aloud "Why should U.S. taxpayers be interested in Ukraine?" I'll tell ya, Rex, there are a lot of reasons American taxpayers don't want to see the world on fire, at the very least we should understand that we can't sell PAUL BLART: MALL COP DVDs to residents of a war-torn wasteland. (This was probably the moment the day tipped officially into madness for me. Just one year ago, a mind-bogglingly asinine statement like this from our chief diplomat would've been headline news, a major international scandal. Today, you probably didn't even notice it. It was on page twelve. You did the crossword, read your Garfield, and moved on.)

And then ALONG CAME SPICEY. Sean Spicer rode into the White House Press Room on a steam shovel and declared "today I will dig myself into the deepest hole in human history, and before the sun sets not even Jules Verne will be able to find me," and Sweet Christ did he deliver. The lead spokesman for the President of the greatest nation on Earth stood in front of the assembled media of the world and engaged in some light Holocaust denial ON FUCKING PASSOVER and for a minute we were all like "Of course he did, this is just what life is like now," but after a second we realized this was crazy shit even by our ever-plummeting standards. And poor Spicey squirmed and shifted, issuing clarifications that got edited every eleven seconds (no, I mean Hitler didn't kill his own people, he just killed Jews, NO WAIT, I mean he didn't gas innocent people NO WAIT I mean he gassed innocent people he just didn't drop gas on them, he invited them to HOLOCAUST CENTERS and we all have to thank him for introducing "Holocaust Center" to the culture lexicon, right?). And we all laughed until he issued an apology which is what any normal human being would do immediately, without hesitation, if they FUCKING DENIED THE HOLOCAUST ON PASSOVER.

Just when the madness was starting to take over, right when you're thinking about how you'd look with half a pound of pickled beets stapled to your face, WaPo breaks the story that the FBI obtained a FISA warrant to surveil Carter Page, a foreign policy advisor to Toupee Fiasco's (That one's not mine, but it's good, isn't it?) campaign. And then you noticed that WAIT HOLD ON WHAT DID YOU FUCKING SAY? A lot of wacky terms have been thrown around over the last few months, like "emoluments" and "Defending World Champion Chicago Cubs," but this is what the poet would call a Big Fucking Deal. You have to demonstrate to a FISA court that there is PROBABLE FUCKING CAUSE to believe that a dude is acting as a FUCKING AGENT OF A FOREIGN FUCKING POWER to get one of these things. And Carter Page, he of the Steele Dossier, he who was cultivated as an unwitting asset by Russian intelligence not so long ago, passed the test. Drip drip.

Before you even finished that article, you got your CNN push notification (God bless this era in which our news outlets compete to scoop one another with stories that undermine the Clowncar Full of Assholes that governs us) for the story showing that Devin "Pigfucker" Nunes essentially made his whole bullshit story up, between the fucking of various pigs. The CNN story featured a few quotes from Sebastian Gorka, which is surprising since his face melted off during the climax of RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK.

By the end of the day, Bill O'Reilly announced that he was going on a vacation for a spell, which was totally planned all along and has nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that so many advertisers have ditched him that he has to shorten his show and broadcast ads from companies that convert your MP3 files into 8-track tapes and offer to take care of your pets after you've been raptured. Anyway, Bill O'Reilly's gonna go somewhere quiet and focus on just sexually harassing Bill O'Reilly for awhile, know what I mean?

And then SCROTUS made some surprisingly negative comments about Steve Bannon in an interview, downplaying his role in the campaign and suggesting he might not be around much longer. My Shart House sources tell me that upon hearing this news, Bannon shrieked and expelled ink on several aides through previously-undisclosed orifices.

Meanwhile there was a special election in Kansas' Fourth Congressional District to fill the seat vacated by Mike Pompeo, who left it to join the Dick Tracy rogue's gallery known as our President's cabinet. Despite being one of the safest GOP seats in the country, the Democratic candidate threatened to pull off an upset. How red is this district? Before Pompeo won the seat, Kansas' Fourth was represented for seven terms by a VHS copy of BEDTIME FOR BONZO (look it up). Anyhow, the republican won, but by a shockingly low margin, and folks, if a Berniecrat can get within 8 of getting a house seat in Wichita, KS, where it's illegal to make eye contact with a member of the opposite sex without a permission slip signed by at least 9 apostles, then we need to pour money into the upcoming special elections in Montana and Georgia, and the midterms are gonna be Little Bighorn 2.0.

There's more. There's really more. They're still engaged in a dick-measuring contest with North Korea, and trying to pass some version of their Let's All Murder the Poor, excuse me "Health Care" bill, and they're even fucking up the Easter Egg Roll (google it, seriously) but I am now tired, you're on your own.

In the end...shit be cray, folks. Shit be cray.

This post was brought to you by Big Earl's Holocaust Center and Water Park! Come on down to Big Earl's for all your Holocaust needs! Ten dollars off with specially marked Pepsi cans.

Angela Rye pounds Jeffrey Lord with common sense about Trump’s first 100 days

By David Edwards

CNN contributor Angela Rye on Tuesday pointed out that President Donald Trump had been plagued with “many epic fails” during his first 100 days in office.

During a discussion on CNN, ardent Trump backer Jeffrey Lord asserted that Trump’s critics could no longer suspect Donald Trump’s campaign of colluding with Russia after the president ordered an attack on Syria that reportedly angered Russian President Vladimir Putin.

“So much for the idea that Vladimir Putin was blamed to give Donald Trump the presidency,” Lord quipped. “It is not possible that Vladimir Putin preferred Donald Trump over Hillary Clinton.”

Reflecting on the president’s first 100 days in office, Rye argued that the White House had a misguided view of success.

“Wins are determined by how they impact the American people,” she explained, noting the disparity with President Barack Obama, who in his first 100 days signed an equal pay law and a law to create jobs and build infrastructure.

“And then I think you compare that to what I think I would characterize as many epic fails by the Trump administration,” she continued. “The Muslim ban and the various iterations of that. The [border] wall, the fact that he said to taxpayers, ‘Okay, I’m just kidding. Actually, you all will pay for the wall.’ The number of moments where they’ve had to pivot.”

“I think the only real thing where Donald Trump has won… is golfing. He is winning on golfing.

He’s 28 days out of 100 into golfing. And it’s so funny because he was the critic-in-chief about Barack Obama’s golf game.”

CNN host noted that Trump was on track to spend more on travel in his first year in office than Obama had spent during his entire eight years.

“Eh, I don’t think so,” Lord replied dismissively. “Did President Obama donate his first month’s salary to the National Parks Service? I don’t think so. Did he play golf on his own golf course? I don’t think so.”

“Three million dollars per golf trip!” Rye shot back. “Melania staying in New York City — a million dollars a day… I am so surprised that you won’t even agree with me on this point. You’re talking about wins for the American people. I would push back. Climate change is a real thing.”

“You talk about me and my friends, tell your friends that there are icebergs melting, okay! And your guy is dialing back regulations that are harmful, not just to the American people, but globally.”

Watch the video below from CNN, broadcast April 11, 2017.

CNBC Host Calls Out DNC Chair Over Primary Corruption

Is Bernie Sanders A Russian Puppet? Unhinged Hilary Supporters Think So

Is Trump planning to kill North Korea’s Kim Jong Un?

April 9, 2017

By Suman Varandani
Displayed with permission from International Business Times 

 

President Donald Trump may be considering to kill North Korean leader Kim Jong Un as nuclear threats from the reclusive country continues to be on the rise. According to recent reports, U.S. National Security Council suggested Trump that either assassinating Kim or deploying nuclear weapons in South Korea could help end the potential war in the Korean Peninsula.

One option “is to target and kill North Korean leader Kim Jong Un and other senior leaders in charge of the country’s missiles and nuclear weapons and decision-making,” NBC news reported, quoting multiple top-ranking intelligence and military officials.

Read: North Korea's Kim Jong Un Will Destroy US With A Nuclear Bomb If He Feels Threatened

The report was followed by news that a U.S. aircraft carrier, which was scheduled for a port call in Australia, has moved towards the Korean Peninsula amid growing concerns of a nuclear threat from North Korea.

A U.S. defense official said Saturday that the strike group will provide a show of presence in the region.

Moving the carrier strike group was a "prudent measure to maintain readiness and presence in the Western Pacific," Dave Benham, a spokesman for U.S. Pacific Command, reportedly said. "The number one threat in the region continues to be North Korea, due to its reckless, irresponsible, and destabilizing program of missile tests and pursuit of a nuclear weapons capability."

North Korea has continued its threat against the U.S. and South Korea despite several warnings from the international community. In March, North Korea carried out two ballistic missile tests. The reclusive country has so far conducted five suspected nuclear tests, including two last year. Analysts believe that a possible sixth nuclear test is being planned by Pyongyang for April 15, which is the 105th birthday of North Korea’s founding president.

On Saturday, Trump and South Korea's acting President Hwang Kyo-Ahn spoke by phone, agreeing in close contact about North Korea and other issues.

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220 Cities Losing All Passenger Train Service Per Trump Elimination Of All Federal Funding For Amtrak’s National Network Trains

Source: National Association of Railroad Passengers (NARP) Apr 4, 2017 

The National Association of Rail Passengers denounced the budget outline released by the Trump Administration, which slashes investment in transportation infrastructure. These cuts to Amtrak, transit, and commuter rail programs, and even air service to rural towns, would not only cost construction and manufacturing jobs, but place a disproportionate amount of pain on rural and working class communities.

“It’s ironic that President Trump’s first budget proposal undermines the very communities whose economic hardship and sense of isolation from the rest of the country helped propel him into office,” said NARP President Jim Mathews. “These working class communities — many of them located in the Midwest and the South — were tired of being treated like ‘flyover country.’ But by proposing the elimination of Amtrak’s long distance trains, the Trump Administration does them one worse, cutting a vital service that connects these small town economies to the rest of the U.S. These hard working, small town Americans don’t have airports or Uber to turn to; they depend on these trains.”

"What’s more, these proposed cuts come as President Trump continues to promise that our tax dollars will be invested in rebuilding America's infrastructure,” continued Mathews. “Instead, we have seen an all-out assault on any project — public and private — that would advance passenger rail. These cuts and delays are costing the U.S. thousands of good-paying construction and manufacturing jobs in America's heartland at this very moment."

Mathews was referring to the decision by Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao to indefinitely suspend a grant that would allow California to proceed with a commuter rail electrification project.

Caltrain, the agency overseeing the project, estimates the project would create 9,600 total direct and indirect jobs. The delay also threatens the construction of a new railcar assembly plant planned for Salt Lake City, which would generate sustainable, family-wage jobs for 550 employees.

The White House budget would lead to a nightmare scenario for people who depend on passenger rail, transit, commuter rail, and even regional air service in the United States, from Wall Street to Main Street. The proposal cuts $2.4 billion from transportation, a 13 percent reduction of last year’s funding, and includes:

Elimination of all federal funding for Amtrak’s national network trains, which provides the only national network service to 23 states, and the only nearby Amtrak service for 144.6 million Americans;

$499 million from the TIGER grant program, a highly successful program that invests in passenger rail and transit projects of national significance;

Elimination of $2.3 billion for the Federal Transit Administration’s “New Starts” Capital Investment Program, which is crucial to launching new transit, commuter rail, and light-rail projects.

Long distance rail routes open up enormous economic development opportunities, which the Administration’s proposal ignores or casts aside. The plan threatens the following long distance routes:

Gulf Coast Restoration — In development
Silver Star — Daily service
Cardinal — 3 trains/week
Silver Meteor — Daily service
Empire Builder — Daily service
Capitol Limited — Daily service
California Zephyr — Daily service
Southwest Chief — Daily service
City of New Orleans — Daily service
Texas Eagle — Daily service
Sunset Limited — 3 trains/week
Coast Starlight — Daily service
Lake Shore Limited — Daily service
Palmetto — Daily service
Crescent — Daily service
Auto Train — Daily service

And, at a minimum, the proposed White House elimination of long distance routes would result in the following 220 towns and cities losing all Amtrak service:

Albuquerque, NM
Alderson, WV
Alliance, OH
Alpine, TX
Anniston, AL
Arcadia, MO
Arkadelphia, AR
Ashland, KY
Atlanta, GA
Austin, TX
Barstow, CA
Beaumont, TX
Benson, AZ
Bingen, WA
Birmingham, AL
Brookhaven, MS
Bryan, OH
Burlington, IA
Charleston, SC
Charleston, WV
Chemult, OR
Chico, CA
Cincinnati, OH
Cleburne, TX
Clemson, SC
Cleveland, OH
Clifton Forge, VA
Colfax, CA
Columbia, SC
Columbus, WI
Connellsville, PA
Creston, IA
Cumberland, MD
Cut Bank, MT
Dallas, TX
Danville, VA
Deerfield Beach, FL
Del Rio, TX
Deland, FL
Delray Beach, FL
Deming, NM
Denver, CO
Detroit Lakes, MN
Devils Lake, ND
Dillon, SC
Dodge City, KS
Dunsmuir, CA
East Glacier Park, MT
El Paso, TX
Elkhart, IN
Elko, NV
Elyria, OH
Ephrata, WA
Erie, PA
Essex, MT
Fargo, ND
Fayetteville, NC
Flagstaff, AZ
Florence, SC
Fort Lauderdale, FL
Fort Madison, IA
Fort Morgan, CO
Framingham, MA
Fulton, KY
Gainesville, GA
Gallup, NM
Garden City, KS
Gastonia, NC
Glasgow, MT
Glenwood Springs, CO
Granby, CO
Grand Forks, ND
Grand Junction, CO
Green River, UT
Greenville, SC
Greenwood, MS
Hamlet, NC
Hammond, LA
Harpers Ferry, WV
Hastings, NE
Hattiesburg, MS
Havre, MT
Hazlehurst, MS
Helper, UT
Hinton, WV
Holdrege, NE
Hollywood, FL
Hope, AR
Houston, TX
Huntington, WV
Hutchinson, KS
Jackson, MS
Jacksonville, FL
Jesup, GA
Kingman, AZ
Kingstree, SC
Kissimmee, FL
Klamath Falls, OR
La Crosse, WI
La Junta, CO
La Plata, MO
Lafayette, LA
Lake Charles, LA
Lakeland, FL
Lamar, CO
Lamy, NM
Las Vegas, NM
Laurel, MS
Lawrence, KS
Libby, MT
Lincoln, NE
Little Rock, AR
Longview, TX
Lordsburg, NM
Lorton, VA
Malta, MT
Malvern, AR
Maricopa, AZ
Marshall, TX
Martinsburg, WV
Maysville, KY
McComb, MS
McCook, NE
McGregor, TX
Memphis, TN
Meridian, MS
Miami, FL
Mineola, TX
Minot, ND
Montgomery, WV
Mount Pleasant, IA
Needles, CA
New Iberia, LA
New Orleans, LA
Newbern-Dyersburg, TN
Newton, KS
Okeechobee, FL
Omaha, NE
Ontario, CA
Orlando, FL
Osceola, IA
Ottumwa, IA
Palatka, FL
Palm Springs, CA
Pasco, WA
Paso Robles, CA
Picayune, MS
Pittsfield, MA
Pomona, CA
Poplar Bluff, MO
Portage, WI
Prince, WV
Provo, UT
Raton, NM
Red Wing, MN
Redding, CA
Reno, NV
Riverside, CA
Rockville, MD
Rugby, ND
Salinas, CA
Salt Lake City, UT
San Antonio, TX
San Bernardino, CA
San Marcos, TX
Sanderson, TX
Sandpoint, ID
Sandusky, OH
Sanford, FL
Savannah, GA
Schriever, LA
Sebring, FL
Shelby, MT
Slidell, LA
South Bend, IN
South Portsmouth, KY
Southern Pines, NC
Spartanburg, SC
Spokane, WA
St. Cloud, MN
St. Paul-Minneapolis, MN
Stanley, ND
Staples, MN
Staunton, VA
Tampa, FL
Taylor, TX
Temple, TX
Texarkana, AR
Thurmond, WV
Toccoa, GA
Toledo, OH
Tomah, WI
Topeka, KS
Trinidad, CO
Truckee, CA
Tucson, AZ
Tuscaloosa, AL
Victorville, CA
Walnut Ridge, AR
Waterloo, IN
Wenatchee, WA
West Glacier, MT
West Palm Beach, FL
White Sulphur Springs, WV
Whitefish, MT
Williams Jct., AZ
Williston, ND
Winnemucca, NV
Winona, MN
Winslow, AZ
Winter Haven, FL
Winter Park, FL
Winter Park-Fraser, CO
Wisconsin Dells, WI
Wishram, WA
Wolf Point, MT
Worcester, MA
Yazoo City, MS
Yemassee, SC
Yuma, AZ

“When the President proposed a $1 trillion infrastructure proposal, voters expected that would mean more funding for projects like long-distance rail and new subway and light rail construction. These are the kinds of public works that spur private investment, create good jobs, and lead to economic revitalization,” said Mathews. “This budget does exactly the opposite.”​

What A Fucking Day

By TheFerret

Oh wow.

Shit be cray, people. Shit be cray.

Today's news was like if a Tom Clancy novel fucked the notebook where Hunter S. Thompson kept the ideas he thought were "too weird" on top of a big stack of Frank Miller comics. Not the good ones, the recent, shitty, super-racist ones.

We started with news of Devin "Pigfucker" Nunes recusing himself from the Russia investigation. Word is, he was forced out by Paul Ryan and the Shart House, not for being a stooge, but for being an exceptionally shitty stooge. Like so many of the shitbags caught up in this mess, he got caught in a number of easily disproven lies, apparently used by a handful of morons in the executive branch to "leak" information...back to the executive branch. Don't look at me brother, figuring out why these people do the things we do is like hosting trivia night in Arkham Asylum.

Anyhow, Nunes released a feeble little statement blaming "left wing activists" or some such nonsense, which fell apart about thirteen seconds later when it was revealed he was under investigation by the ethics office (the same one the House GOP tried to drown quietly in the outhouse out back while nobody was looking, remember that?) for revealing classified information, for the TOTAL BULLSHIT REASON that...he appears to have revealed classified information. Devin Nunes was not built for high-stakes politics, friends. He was built solely for the fucking of pigs.

And we celebrated Nunes' downfall for a hot ten minutes before we realized he was just going to be replaced with stooges who wouldn't be so obvious/stupid about being stooges, i.e. are less likely to call dumb fuck press conferences where they entrap themselves for no discernible reason beyond incurable idiocy. The new chair of the investigating committee is some doorknob who said some shit about how watching a Mexican Soap Opera is basically the same thing as collaborating with a hostile foreign power to influence the American Presidential election, I don't remember his name, look it up your own damn self. (He will be assisted in his abuse of power by Trey Gowdy Doody, he of the Hundred Years War, excuse me, the Benghazi investigation. I would love to rewarded similarly for a history of failure. In that scenario, my 0-for-the-entire-fucking-season in little league would land me a multi-million dollar contract with the Yankees.)

Meanwhile the Senate went Nuclear, which, calm down, doesn't mean what you were hoping it did. There was much hemming and hawing about the ugliness of partisan politics by men and women who spent the day facilitating the ugliness of partisan politics. In the left-wing media, there was a masochistic joy in trudging up past quotes from Death Lord Of All Tortoises Mitch McConnell as proof of his hypocrisy. As if hypocrisy bothers Mitch McConnell one bit.

Let me tell y'all something very important about Mitch McConnell: he doesn't give a shit about anything but winning. He will gleefully tell you on Monday that eating sandwiches is sinful, and then when you catch him eating a big fat fucking reuben on Tuesday, he will laugh in your face as you triumphantly point out his hypocrisy.

Laugh in your face, kick you in the junk, steal your wallet, use your money to take your mom out to dinner* and fuck her in your childhood bed, and it won't bother him one tiny little bit because his job isn't "being consistent," his job is "winning" and he won this one and yeah, fuck him, but it sucks and now we just have to send his terrapin ass back to the minority for the rest of his life so he can flail helplessly on his back while we replace Clarence Thomas and Anthony Kennedy with Rachel Maddow maybe Sarah Silverman.

*Where he orders another sandwich because fuck you that's why.

In the background there's another wave of stories about Shart House infighting. People are screaming "CUCK" at each other, Bannon's down, demoted from the National Security Council, and Kushner's up, apparently single-handedly responsible for 87% of the executive branch's duties. Why does a kid whose resume reads "got daddy's money when daddy went to jail, bought a newspaper and wrecked it" get so much responsibility? Well, because our idiot president has mad respect for the dude who gets to do the one thing he's ever wanted that he can't do, (NUDGE NUDGE FUCK HIS DAUGHTER) and therefore he's in charge of China and peace in the Middle East and reforming the government and Veterans affairs and The Vending Machines in the West Wing Don't Have Zagnuts Can We Get Some Fucking Zagnuts in There Jared and god knows what else.

And we maybe breathe a sigh of relief that Bannon's role in the administration is diminishing because this is a man who boos the ending of Schindler's List, but then you realize that the GODDAMN PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED GODDAMN STATES is only swinging from white supremacy to nepotism, and you wonder why he doesn't think, "Hey, maybe try somebody with some relevant experience?" And you know that once Kushner makes a mess of everything, Il Douche is just gonna turn to Gordon Ramsey or that One Girl Who Yells at Baristas in Chicago to run the government for him.

And at this point in the day, you're getting a bit overwhelmed, so maybe you don't notice that the Yokel, I mean "Attorney" General, our President's Loyal Huntin' Dawg Beauregard, has decided to take himself a long leisurely look at all them police abuse settlements arrived at under those colored folks who previously held his office. To Ol' Beauregard, decades of rampant police abuse? Why, that ain't nuthin' atawl, an' if an unarmed black fellah gets shot every couple weeks or so in Baltimore, well, that's jus' the price of law and orduh, don' ya see, and honestly, what's one more or less black fellah, am I right?

By now, the madness has started to settle in. You're seriously thinking rubbing cake frosting all over your otherwise naked body and running around downtown throwing poop and screaming. Maybe you catch a few human interest stories. About Rachel Dolezal going to South Africa to talk about "racial transitioning." About a shocking number of iPhone users desiring a sexual relationship with Siri. About somebody making beer that tastes like Cap'n Crunch. (All of this really happened, I swear to you.)

And in the background you start to see more and more stories about Dorito Mussolini thinking about maybe starting a War of His Very Own in Syria.

And we learn that the Shart Administration is trying to force twitter to reveal (ahem, UNMASK HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH OH GOD THE IRONY) of an anonymous user who has been criticizing them, which is a not-at-all-terrifying police state move, oh wait. And we find our the CIA was sounding alarm bells on the Russian interference/possible collaboration LAST SUMMER but somehow James Comey only thought the American people needed to know that Anthony Weiner's personal laptop may've contained the name, location, favorite color and Most Embarrassing High School Moment of every undercover agent in the world. And we even had a quick laugh at Spraytan Zartan bragging about having had the best first thirteen weeks in human history...eleven weeks into his term.

And then things were quiet for a couple hours.

And then the missiles started flying.

Without seeking authorization from congress, without consulting allies, without a strong/competent state department to give advice, without civilian leadership in the defense department, without a single voice in the executive branch any rational human being would consider qualified to weigh in on a decision so large, a military strike on a foreign government backed by Iran and Russia was ordered and executed.

And nobody seems to know what, precisely, is going on, what the long-term plan might be (SPOILERZ, there totally isn't one.). McCain and Graham are jubilant of course, nothing delights that duo quite so much as other people's children dying. Some folks are talking about regime change, but it doesn't seem like anybody thought making those kind of decisions was important before pushing the button.

There's a lot we don't know right now. If there were significant civilian casualties (a distressingly irrelevant factor to the military under the Shart Administration), if more strikes are coming, if there were Russian nationals on the base we hit. What happens next. And yes, in the background you wonder how much of the decision was made to distract the American populace from domestic scandals...nearly every president of my lifetime has played that card.

I confess I'm worried. Our President, as we've learned, doesn't know Shit about Shit, doesn't know what he doesn't know, doesn't care that he doesn't know, and, importantly, is infinitely persuadable. He blindly followed Bannon into the travel ban debacle, and Ryan into the health care clusterfuck. Why? Because he doesn't know Shit about Shit, and anybody who kisses his ass and tells him what a Big Boy With Big Strong Hands he is can, we have seen time and again, manipulate him into doing whatever they want him to do.

And when it comes to war? Wow. Bannon's an apocalyptic lunatic. Tillerson is hopelessly out of his depth. Mattis seems well-intentioned enough, but don't forget that there is a reason why we don't put generals in charge of the defense department, and Mattis needed a waiver to be confirmed in the first place. Priebus is sniveling toady with no stature on this turf. Kushner also doesn't know shit about shit, and early indications are that the brass is manipulating him, and like his father-in-law I don't credit him with the brains to understand he's being manipulated. The institutional GOP defers to McCain and Graham on matters of war, and again those two sprinkle the blood of young men on their breakfast cereal whenever the opportunity presents itself. And Pence of course is a hairshirt-wearing religious fanatic who'll play the role of Crusader with a crazed grin on his face.

Basically we have a bunch of malicious fools making these decisions. I wish I could find a way to laugh at all this, but I can't. Heaven help us all. 

He’s just a gross, crook, dirty, rotten lying sack of shit

Louis CK regrets comparing Donald Trump to Hitler. But he's not going to take it back.

Mitch McConnell Goes Down In Flames Defending His Merrick Garland Hypocrisy

How the fuck does Kentucky keep re-electing this guy?  dlevere.

By David



Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) on Sunday blamed the American people for the decision of Senate Republicans not to grant President Barack Obama's Supreme Court pick, Judge Merrick Garland, a hearing.

"The tradition had been not to confirm vacancies in the middle of a presidential [election] year," McConnell told Meet the Press host Chuck Todd. "You'd have to go back 80 years to find the last time it happened... Everyone knew, including President Obama's former White House counsel, that if the shoe had been on the other foot, [Democrats] wouldn't have filled a Republican president's vacancy in the middle of a presidential election."

"That's a rationale to vote against his confirmation," Todd argued. "Why not put him up for a vote? Any senator can have a rationale to not to vote for a confirmation. Why not put Merrick Garland on the floor and if the rationale is, 'You know what? Too close to an election,' then vote no?"

McConnell laughed defensively.

"Look, we litigated that last year," the Majority Leader stuttered. "The American people decided that they wanted Donald Trump to make the nomination, not Hillary Clinton."

McConnell argued that Democrats should focus on the issue at hand, the confirmation of Neil Gorsuch, Trump's Supreme Court pick.

"There's no rational reason, no basis for voting against Neil Gorsuch," McConnell opined.

"You say it's been litigated, the Garland situation," Todd replied. "For a lot of Senate Democrats, they're not done litigating this... What was wrong with allowing Merrick Garland to have an up or down vote?"

"I already told you!" McConnell exclaimed. "You don't fill Supreme Court vacancies in the middle of a presidential election."

"Should that be the policy going forward?" Todd interrupted. "Are you prepared to pass a resolution that says in election years any Supreme Court vacancy [will not be filled] and let it be a sense of the Senate resolution, that says no Supreme Court nominations will be considered in any even numbered year? Is that where we're headed?"

"That's an absurd question," McConnell complained. "We were right in the middle of a presidential election year. Every body knew that either side -- had the shoe been on the other foot -- wouldn't have filled it. But that has nothing to do with what we're voting on this year."

White House Staff Turns On ‘Out Of His Depth’ Jared Kushner Amid Chaos And Turmoil

Kushner is arguably the president’s closest adviser.

By David Ferguson / Raw Story

April 2, 2017

Photo Credit: Ovidiu Hrubaru / Shutterstock.com

Thus far, in the scandal-plagued, chaotic presidency of Donald Trump, the chief executive’s son-in-law Jared Kushner has enjoyed a kind of unsinkable “privileged status.”

According to Politico, however, resentment is growing against Kushner in an already factionalized and strife-torn White House. Hardline conservatives see the moderate-minded, 36 year old Kushner as an obstacle to their agenda and worry that Kushner ally Gary Cohn — a Democrat — will pressure Kushner to steer the administration toward the middle.

Thus far, Pres. Trump has tasked his daughter’s husband — a government neophyte with no previous policy or legislative experience — with solving the crisis in the Middle East and overseeing the U.S. relationships with China, Canada and Mexico. On top of that ambitious portfolio, Kushner and Cohn this week established the White House Office of American Innovation, an initiative to modernize and streamline the operations of the federal government.

“But Kushner’s status as the big-issue guru has stoked resentment among his colleagues, who question whether Kushner is capable of following through on his various commitments,” wrote Politico’s Josh Dawsey, Kenneth P. Vogel and Alex Isenstadt. “And some colleagues complain that his dabbling in myriad issues and his tendency to walk in and out of meetings have complicated efforts to instill more order and organization into the chaotic administration. These people also say Kushner can be a shrewd self promoter, knowing how to take credit — and shirk blame — whenever it suits him.”

“He’s saving the government and the Middle East at the same time,” one administration official quipped to Politico.

Kushner is arguably the president’s closest adviser — the last person to speak to him each day and also the administration’s hatchet man. During the 2016 campaign, it fell to Kushner to fire campaign managers Corey Lewandowski and Paul Manafort. It was also Kushner who axed New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (R) from the Trump transition team.

Lewandowski in particular is rumored to be pursuing a vendetta against Kushner, planting anonymous stories about the president’s son-in-law with conservative media outlets. Other campaign officials who didn’t get hired by the administration are reportedly aligned with Lewandowski and believe that Kushner is insufficiently conservative.

Far-right radio host Mark Levin has attacked Kushner before, calling him “some 32-year-old, liberal Democrat kid out of New York.” Other neoconservatives and Zionist Israel supporters said they had high hopes for Kushner because he is an Orthodox Jew and the grandson of Holocaust survivors, but thus far they say he has disappointed them.

A source told Politico that “those hopes mostly have been supplanted by ‘deep concern that Jared is not the person we thought he was — that this guy who is supposed to be good at everything is totally out of his depth.’”

Kushner himself remains breezily confident, telling associates not to fret over the Russia investigation because it “isn’t going anywhere” and assuring others that his father-in-law’s administration will get past its early stumbles.

“But if it doesn’t,” Politico said, “allies and aides say, one thing is clear: the president will surely find someone else to take the blame. And Kushner will likely be delivering the bad news.”

Kushner was the subject of Republican ire in the wake of the president’s failed healthcare bill after he and the president’s daughter Ivanka Trump left Washington for a ski-trip to Aspen, CO. This week it came out that the presidential son-in-law is wanted for testimony in connection to an FBI investigation of a bank implicated in Russian money laundering.

The Trump Diaries