Showing posts with label Funny Shit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny Shit. Show all posts

Saturday, September 23, 2017

Donald Trump's Cabinet Acts Like Royalty - Flying Private Jets Paid For By Tax $$$

In this ‘Dollemore Daily’ Jesse addresses the horrendous hypocrisy of Donald Trump's Cabinet officials as they talk about saving tax dollars while spending HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of dollars flying private jets all over the country!

Friday, September 22, 2017

Forthwith, He Shalt Be Known As The "Dotard"

Donald Trump Makes Up African Country of #Nambia In Front Of African Delegation!

In this ‘Dollemore Daily’ Jesse addresses Donald Trump's ignorance of the world's nations after his remarks before a delegation of African leaders at the United Nations, where Donald Trump invented the nation of "Nambia" and praised it for its advances in healthcare.

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

The Short Bus To Armageddon: Trump At The U.N.

Posted by Rude One

When do we get to stop being embarrassed, huh? Every time that President Donald Trump opens his lamprey mouth and shakes his semen-colored mane, it's like another shiv in the gut while we stand in the prison shower that is the United States in 2017.

"Which group of shit-sniffing baboons is he gonna talk to this time?" we wonder. Will it be the crazed conservative hawks, the ones whose savagery make Democratic hawks look like confused parakeets?

Will it be his base, whose heads are evolving into the shape of a permanent dunce cap, the one-third of the American populace who pretend they want anarchy when, really, all they want are more guns and fewer dark-skinned people?

Will it be the unsatiated capitalists, the ones who would monetize child rape if they thought they could squeeze a few more pennies out of the bloodied anuses of babies? And usually, it's all three, to varying degrees, with Trump a carnival barker yelling at the freaks and carnies to scoop up the spilled popcorn and toss it back in with the rest to sell again tomorrow.

At the United Nations today, Trump spoke stiffly and boorishly, his pinch-fingered hand gesticulating like he was jacking off his own micropenis. It was like some kind of dumb college prank, where you make the stupidest freshman get up at karaoke and sing the National Anthem instead of some damn Ed Sheeran song. Put a MAGA hat on that bitch, and you've got a Trump voter.

Whatever you think of the U.N., most of the leaders in that room are people who have dedicated their lives to the politics of their nation. Most of them are vastly educated, well-read, worldly, and, to varying degrees, smart enough to know a fucking idiot when they see one. So you had to imagine the reactions to Trump at the General Assembly ranged from horror to bemusement to calculating how easy it would be to roll this rube (looking at you, Saudi Arabia).

Did Trump brag about how great things are now that he's been resident for all of 8 months? Fuck, yeah, you know he did. Actually, apparently, his residency started even earlier: "The United States has done very well since Election Day last November 8th. The stock market is at an all-time high -- a record. Unemployment is at its lowest level in 16 years, and because of our regulatory and other reforms, we have more people working in the United States today than ever before. Companies are moving back, creating job growth the likes of which our country has not seen in a very long time."

Yes, I'm sure Hage Geingob, the president of Namibia, who has a PhD in international relations from the University of Leeds, really thought that Trump deserved the credit for this. (By the way, interestingly, Geingob came to the United States to start college at Temple University, in Philadelphia, in 1964 before transferring to Fordham University in New York City. Trump started at Fordham in 1964 before transferring to the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia.)

Were there lines that should have made any sentient world leader just crack up with sad laughter? You bet. "In America, we do not seek to impose our way of life on anyone, but rather to let it shine as an example for everyone to watch," Trump had the gall to say as most of Central and South America, a good chunk of East Asia, and assorted islands from all over the world rolled their eyes so hard they saw their own brain pans.

Sure, but did he sound like a pathetic, low-level thug who wants everyone to think he's a made man? Aw, come on. That's his default mode. He warned, "We can no longer be taken advantage of, or enter into a one-sided deal where the United States gets nothing in return." He threatened, "The United States has great strength and patience, but if it is forced to defend itself or its allies, we will have no choice but to totally destroy North Korea." And, yeah he called Kim Jong-un "Rocket Man." In front of the U.N. It's like having your drunk aunt shake her bare titties at her nephew's graduation.

And, obviously, Trump talked as if no one else there has any idea how the world works. "If the righteous many do not confront the wicked few, then evil will triumph," he said in a line that's right out of his Captain America fanfic. He continued, "When decent people and nations become bystanders to history, the forces of destruction only gather power and strength." Certainly, every country that has dealt with terrorism, which is a fuck-bunch of 'em, appreciated being told they should not be bystanders.

On it went, with shitting on the Iran deal (which is working, despite every feeble protest Trump makes), praise for Russia and Turkey, called out the "loser terrorists," and repeated a blatant lie: "Our country has achieved more against ISIS in the last eight months than it has in many, many years combined."

Yeah, it was like piss from heaven that all the golden showers lovers on his side could bathe themselves in. And everything you need to know about the speech, and everything that you believe about it, is contained in how you think about this: One of the first people to praise the speech was Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who tweeted, "In over 30 years in my experience with the UN, I never heard a bolder or more courageous speech."

Yes, it's so very brave to threaten to wipe out a desperate tiny country, to walk away from a peace deal, and to ignore the greatest threat to the planet, climate change, altogether. We're riding the short bus to Armageddon. And there are no stops ahead.

Monday, September 18, 2017

America Won't Forget That Sean Spicer Chose Donald Trump Over America!

In this ‘Dollemore Daily’ Jesse Dollemore addresses Sean Spicer's appearance at The Emmy's last night and his connection to Donald Trump, which shouldn't be forgotten so easily.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Ted Cruz Twitter Fiasco Shines A Light On Rampant Hypocrisy In Republican Party

In this ‘Dollemore Daily’ Jesse addresses Ted Cruz' late night twitter habits while discussing the greater problem within the GOP.

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

The Press Is Now Calling Trump “Independent”, Playing Right Into His Tiny Hands

The media has been fawning over Donald Trump for the last week, mostly due to the fact that he worked out a debt ceiling deal with Democratic lawmakers. Now, the press is calling him “independent” and saying that he isn’t beholden to the Republican Party.

This is insanity. Trump isn’t independent, he’s a pathetic businessman who only cares about branding and ratings – and his words in the last week prove it. Ring of Fire’s Farron Cousins explains.

Steve Bannon Plotting A Coup To Take Over The Republican Party

Former Trump advisor and current Breitbart propagandist Steve Bannon is planning on running primary challengers to key Republican lawmakers in order to shift the Party even further to the right.

Bannon has been empowered by Trump, and now he wants to take over the whole Party. Ring of Fire’s Farron Cousins discusses this.

Friday, September 8, 2017

Paul Ryan Struggles To Explain Trump's Deal With Democrats

Paul Ryan is a practiced liar, but when he knows he’s about to say the exact opposite of what he said one day prior, even he squirms a bit. Cenk Uygur, host of The Young Turks, breaks it down.

"Republican resistance to a deal to raise the national borrowing limit — struck by President Donald Trump and Democratic congressional leaders — is straining GOP unity just as Congress enters the most politically treacherous stretch of the legislative calendar. The leaders of the Republican Study Committee, an alliance of more than 150 conservative House members, panned the deal Thursday, even as Speaker Paul Ryan — who initially opposed it as well — praised Trump for seeking a bipartisan approach. The measure is expected to be attached to a bill that would send billions of dollars worth of disaster aid to Texas for its recovery from Hurricane Harvey.”

Read more here:

Trump Makes A Deal With The Democrats

Trump Deals finally made a deal and heads are exploding. Cenk Uygur, host of The Young Turks, breaks it down. 

"President Donald Trump on Thursday suggested he is open to getting rid of the nation's debt ceiling altogether. "It could be discussed," Trump told reporters Thursday. "There are a lot of good reasons to do that."

 A day after Trump agreed with Democrat to suspend the debt ceiling for three months, a shorter time period than Republican leaders wanted, reports said Trump also told Democratic leaders Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi that he was willing to work with them on legislation to eliminate the ceiling permanently.”

Read more here:

Host: Cenk Uygur

Cast: Cenk Uygur

Trump’s betrayal of the Republican leaders should surprise no one

Donald Trump meets with Republican and Democratic leaders in Congress. (Kevin Lamarque/Reuters)

Opinion writer

Chuck and Nancy and Donald and Ivanka seemed to thoroughly enjoy their meeting at the White House the other day. Mitch and Paul, not so much.

Does it really surprise anyone that President Trump betrayed the Republican leaders who have been trying their best to carry water for him on Capitol Hill — Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) and House Speaker Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.) — and is playing footsie with their Democratic rivals? It shouldn’t.

One thing that should be blindingly obvious by now is that political loyalty, for the president, is a one-way street. Yes, McConnell and Ryan embarrassed themselves and squandered precious political capital in a long, fruitless attempt to repeal and replace the Affordable Care Act. Yes, the Republican leaders have held their tongues time and again when Trump has manifested his unfitness for office. Yes, they have pretended not to notice the glaring conflicts of interest between Trump’s private business affairs and his public responsibilities.

Still, there was something brazen about the way events unfolded Wednesday. First, Ryan tells reporters that a short-term, three-month extension on the debt ceiling, tied to relief funds for Hurricane Harvey — an idea supported by Senate Minority Leader Charles E. Schumer (D-N.Y.) and House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) — was “ridiculous and disgraceful.” Then, in the Oval Office meeting, Trump stuns everyone by endorsing the Schumer-Pelosi plan — and agrees to work with the Democrats on repealing the debt ceiling altogether, according to The Post. Later, on Air Force One, Trump goes on about what a productive meeting he had with “Chuck and Nancy,” not bothering to mention the GOP congressional leaders by name. Ouch.

Some shell-shocked attendees said they believed the meeting went off the rails when the president’s daughter Ivanka, who has an office in the West Wing, cheerily dropped in and disrupted the conversation’s focus. But this sounds to me like nothing more than a search for a scapegoat. Ryan and McConnell have no one to blame but themselves.

Trump is many things, but he is not, nor has he ever been, a committed Republican. He seized control of the party in a hostile takeover. His campaign positions on trade, health care, entitlements and other issues bore no resemblance to GOP orthodoxy. He has instincts — some of them odious, from what we can intuit about his views on race and culture — but his worldview is transactional and situational, not ideological.

Ryan, McConnell and many of their Republican colleagues in Congress convinced themselves that Trump could be a useful instrument — that he would sign whatever legislation they sent him, and therefore they would be able to enact a conventional GOP agenda of tax and entitlement cuts.
Trump might have gone along with this scenario, at least for a while. But Ryan and McConnell utterly failed to hold up their end of the bargain.

Look at the health-care fiasco from Trump’s point of view. His campaign position was that Obamacare had to be repealed, but that the replacement should be a system offering health care for “everyone.” What Ryan and the House delivered, however, was a plan that would make 23 million people lose health insurance and cut nearly $800 billion from Medicaid.

Trump called that legislation “mean” but was so desperate for a big win that he backed it anyway. In the Senate, however, McConnell wasn’t able to deliver anything at all — not even a stripped-down measure to repeal the ACA now and replace it later. Trump was humiliated and angry. “Mitch M” and “Paul R” became frequent targets of his barbed tweets.

So on Wednesday, Trump dished out a little humiliation of his own. At the White House meeting, the president reportedly cut off Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin — who supported the Ryan-McConnell approach to raising the debt ceiling — in mid-sentence to announce that he was siding with Schumer and Pelosi.

The stunning slap down almost overshadowed a surprise that Trump had delivered Tuesday evening: After sending Attorney General Jeff Sessions out to announce the end of the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program, Trump tweeted that if Congress did not act within six months, he would “revisit” the question.

What Trump clearly has already revisited is his belief in the ability of the conservative GOP congressional majorities to get anything meaningful done. He seems to be at least flirting with the idea of working instead with Democrats and GOP moderates — working not with but around the House and Senate leadership.

I just hope Schumer and Pelosi know not to trust him the way Ryan and McConnell did.

Read more from Eugene Robinson’s archive, follow him on Twitter or subscribe to his updates on Facebook. You can also join him Tuesdays at 1 p.m. for a live Q&A.

Thursday, September 7, 2017

Republicans Left Reeling After Deal Between Trump And Democrats

WASHINGTON — Republicans were left fuming at a deal struck Wednesday between President Donald Trump and Democratic leaders that combines disaster aid for Hurricane Harvey victims with measures to keep the government open and extend the debt ceiling for three more months.

The agreement occurred during a late-morning Oval Office meeting between Trump, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, House Speaker Paul Ryan, Senate Democratic Leader Chuck Schumer and House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi. During the meeting, Trump sided with the Democrats, agreeing to their demands for a short-term extension of government funding and the debt limit and rejecting Republicans’ efforts to seek a longer-term debt ceiling hike.

It was a blow to GOP plans to avoid a series of politically treacherous votes for their members, or at least provide cover for them by attaching it to the disaster relief bill.

By agreeing to the three-month extensions, the GOP-controlled Congress would be forced to revisit both the debt ceiling and government spending extensions in December. And it increases the pressure on Republicans to pass yet more extensions to both, or face the prospect of the U.S. defaulting on its bills or a government shutdown just weeks before Christmas.

Democrats praised the deal, which was reached just before the House overwhelmingly passed $7.85 billion in disaster relief with nothing else attached.

“It was a really good moment of some bipartisanship and getting things done,” Schumer told reporters.

But it leaves rank-and-file Republicans befuddled and with few good choices. Opposition to increasing the nation's debt ceiling has become a matter of principle for many conservatives who say that this deal is worse than any they could have imagined because it forces them to vote on it twice in three months.

“The Pelosi-Schumer-Trump deal is bad,” said Sen. Ben Sasse, R-Neb., in a short, terse statement.

McConnell told reporters it was the president’s decision and that GOP leadership will move forward with it.

“The President can speak for himself, but his feeling was that we needed to come together to not create a picture of divisiveness at a time of genuine national crisis and that was the rationale,” McConnell told reporters.

Still, it was a stunning turn of events.

Wednesday morning began with Pelosi and Schumer issuing their demand that the debt limit be increased for just three months as part of the hurricane relief bill. Ryan called the idea “ridiculous and disgraceful,” adding that Democrats “want to play politics with the debt ceiling.”

An hour later, the four leaders met with Trump. Republicans entered the meeting proposing an 18 month increase to the debt limit, which would put the issue aside until after the midterm elections.

Trump rejected that and so Republicans floated six months. But Pelosi and Schumer stuck to their three month demand.

Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin, who was also present, argued in favor of a longer-term debt limit extension, but the president cut him off and sided with the Democrats, multiple sources with knowledge of the meeting said.

In an unexpected turn of events, Ivanka Trump, the president's daughter and adviser, came into the room to say hello toward the end of the meeting, which derailed the conversation and left the Republicans visibly annoyed, a Democratic aide briefed on the meeting said.

AshLee Strong, a spokeswoman for Ryan, called that characterization of Republican reaction "false."

And a White House aide said that Trump invited his daughter in to talk about her child-tax credit proposal, that she stayed on-topic and that it was “not an issue.”

Back on Capitol Hill, there was a mixture of resignation and outrage.

At the weekly lunch for Senate Republicans, McConnell, joined by White House budget director Mick Mulvaney and Vice President Mike Pence, laid out the deal reached with Democratic leaders.

When asked if they were surprised at the deal that was made, some senators appeared unfazed.

“Nothing shocks me around here,” said Sen. John Kennedy, R-La.

“Am I surprised? Not really,” said Sen. Bob Corker, R-Tenn.

Still, senators were left unsure of how they’d vote on the deal, even though it includes nearly $8 billion in immediate relief for Harvey victims.

“We are literally funding this government on 90 day notes. That is not the way to fund the largest, most relevant entity in the world,” said Sen. Dan Sullivan, R-Alaska.

He said that he’s likely to vote for it because of the desperate need of people in Texas, adding, “patience is wearing thin on short-term funding of this government.”

Some Republicans, however, fumed. During a lunch of the conservative Republican Study Committee, members unanimously voiced their opposition to the deal, an aide said.

Rep. Mark Meadows, R-N.C., said Republican leaders didn’t go into the talks with a good enough proposal.

“You've got to give the president conservative options," Meadows said. "There was not a conservative option on the table. It was either a clean debt ceiling or this deal. And when we look at that you can’t criticize somebody when there’s not a conservative proposal that’s put forth."

Rep. Mark Walker, R-N.C., chairman of the conservative Republican Study Committee, said Mnuchin and Republican leaders have been pushing for a way to find the easiest path to pass a debt ceiling with no reforms attached.

“They’ve been trolling along looking for something to attach it to,” Walker said of Republican leaders. “To use the pain and suffering of the people of Texas to me is offensive."

Trump praised the deal aboard Air Force One on his way to North Dakota for a speech on tax reform. But he said he had a very good meeting with Pelosi and Schumer, and didn’t even mention the leaders of his party — McConnell and Ryan.

He also said that the debt ceiling must always be lifted without question, a position not held by most Republicans, who in recent years have turned it into a lever to achieve their policy goals of budget cuts.

“We had a very good meeting with Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer," Trump said. "We agreed to a three-month extension on debt ceiling, which they consider to be sacred — very important — always we’ll agree on debt ceiling automatically because of the importance of it."

The deal, however, just pushes the threat of a government shutdown to December.

“Merry Christmas,” said Sen. John Thune, R-S.D.
Kasie Hunt
Kasie Hunt
Alex Moe, Garrett Haake, Frank Thorp V and Hallie Jackson

Thursday, August 31, 2017

Is Joel Osteen A Bad Guy For Reasons Beyond Failing To Act During Hurricane Harvey?

In this episode of "The Conversation", Jesse Dollemore discusses Joel Osteen and his bizarre Americanized version of Jesus' Gospel message.

His inaction in the face of the suffering caused by Hurricane Harvey was bad, but are there more reasons his actions should be questioned and scrutinized?

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Fox Host Falls For Hurricane Hoax

Jesse Watters fell for a little bit of Photoshopping. Ana Kasparian and Michael Shure, the hosts of The Young Turks, break it down.

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Ex-Producer Reveals The Truth About Pat Robertson

Pat Robertson is actually a terrible person.

The Desperate Neediness Of Donald Trump, Even In The Midst Of A Hurricane

Posted by Rude One

(Yeah, yeah, I'll be getting to Arpaio and Russia and whatever other clusterfucks of doom happen, but first, let's deal with the big damn Harvey in the room.)

We know that Donald Trump is a man whose ego must be constantly stroked, like the head of a grumpy baby who won't go to sleep. Any chance any of his administration has to praise him, praise him they must or they will face the jowly gaze of disapproval and probably some kind of stupid-ass threat at a public gathering. They gotta blow this fuckin' guy so often that they get assigned government-issue knee pads.

So it was that during Hurricane (now Tropical Storm) Harvey, which is wrecking the fuck out of the lives of millions of Americans, Trump not only stayed for the weekend at Camp David, but he teleconferenced into situation room meetings. That gave us photos of an old man in an ill-fitting suit and stupid, over-sized "USA" hat, alone at a table, talking over speakers to those who were genuinely engaged beyond watching footage on TV and tweeting, "Wow, that's a whole bunch of rain!" or whatever the fuck Trump said.

Today. Trump's most voracious chowder-guzzler, Vice President Mike Pence, made the rounds of talk radio to show just how enthusiastically he gargles on Trump's nutsack. Seriously, the amount that Pence praised Trump for his actions during the hurricane makes it sound like the president was personally out in his yacht, rescuing people. Instead, what really is occurring is that Barack Obama's FEMA was, so far, doing a pretty good job for Texas.

But here's Pence, on a Houston news station, just licking his lips in anticipation of Trump dick. "Trump made his decision on Friday night, before landfall, to issue an emergency declaration with regard to Texas" and later, Louisiana, Pence said. "Trump and our entire administration have been working closely with Governor Abbott...Trump assembled the Cabinet twice... I can tell you that from Friday night forward, Trump has been continuously engaged in this."

Then, on another station, Pence fellated on about "the swift response by Trump" and "Trump’s direction" in the crisis. "I couldn’t be more proud of Trump’s leadership," Pence asserted, obviously.

We get it. You wanna make sure the spin is that Trump's not fucking it up like Bush during Katrina. But a real leader would tell his people to knock that praise shit off, that it's not necessary, and that, frankly, the effort to save southeast Texas and, likely, parts of Louisiana is just beginning, and there's still plenty of time to fuck it up. The nauseating amount of appreciation that his staff and cabinet heap on Trump is tough to take in non-catastrophic times. Now, it just comes across as needy and selfish on the part of Trump, putting himself at the center of the story when, at best, he's a tangential element, someone who would serve everyone best by staying the fuck out of everyone's way while grown-ups are working here.

Put him in a corner. Give him the remote. Put a big boy hat on him. And ignore him.


Saturday, August 26, 2017

Van Jones BRILLIANTLY Destroys Trump's Jason Miller

During a CNN panel debate on "Anderson Cooper 360," Van Jones brilliantly destroys former Trump spokesman & current Trump lackey Jason Miller!

People dumping Ivanka Trump products at Goodwill

Social media users proudly confess to dumping Ivanka Trump fashion items at Goodwill - many with the tags STILL ON - as one staff member reveals huge surge in donated items from her brand.