Showing posts with label Funny Shit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny Shit. Show all posts
Sunday, March 12, 2017
Saturday, March 11, 2017
One Brief Example Of The Insane Hypocrisy Of The GOP On The Health Care Bill
Posted by Rude One
It's really one of the weirdest things in the American Health Care Act, the bullshit bill that bullshit Republicans rolled out so their bullshit president could declare that he was St. Donald fighting the Affordable Care Act dragon. From pages 10-16, the bill's authors lay out the conditions by which MegaMillions and Powerball and other winners would have to pay for their own damn health insurance. That new part takes up a tenth of the length of the entire 66 page bill that escaped Mario Kart character Sean Spicer jigged around and pointed at for its brevity, contrasting it with the monstrously huge stack of pages that make up Obamacare (yeah, the black guy's was bigger and you could do more with it).
And the lottery section is just bizarrely precise in talking about the conditions when a lottery winner wouldn't be able to get Medicaid: "a State shall, in determining such eligibility, include such winnings or income (as applicable) as income received— (I) in the month in which such winnings or income (as applicable) is received if the amount of such winnings or income is less than $80,000; (II) over a period of 2 months if the amount of such winnings or income (as applicable) is greater than or equal to $80,000 but less than $90,000; (III) over a period of 3 months if the amount of such winnings or income (as applicable) is greater than or equal to $90,000 but..." You get the idea.
Obsessively detailed, no?
This is easy to mock in a "God, how fucking dumb are they?" kind of way. Except, instead, looking at why this language is in the bill reveals something just a little more sinister about the hypocrisy under which the GOP is operating to commit this health care fuckery.
One of the reasons that Republicans are desperately trying to cram the bill through like a limp cock on an unlubed asshole is because the Congressional Budget Office hasn't finished its scoring of the bill to see what its effects might be. When the CBO is done, it will likely reveal that the AHCA is, as previously mentioned, a bullshit bill that will cost a ton of money and kick millions of people off health insurance. Republicans in the House, at least, are trying to maintain the illusion that they're not just complete twat mites who want to straight up murder people to give the wealthy a tax cut, but, yeah, that's pretty much what's going on.
A cynical reader might be thinking, "Well, sure, everyone loves the CBO when it gives them the numbers they want. What's the big deal?" But that's not quite cynical enough.
See, the lottery exclusion up there was actually first brought up in 2016 because, apparently, there are enough winners to make a big damn difference: "Using the typical per capita cost for Medicaid adults, this provision would reduce direct spending by $475 million over the 2016-2026 period." You know who came up with that nearly half-billion dollars in savings because of a seemingly odd provision? The Congressional Budget Office.
That's the depth of hypocrisy occurring here. The Republicans need the CBO's figures to write their goddamn bill, but they are running scared from the CBO when it comes to the final bill's effects on Americans. That's the incredible dickishness involved here.
It's really one of the weirdest things in the American Health Care Act, the bullshit bill that bullshit Republicans rolled out so their bullshit president could declare that he was St. Donald fighting the Affordable Care Act dragon. From pages 10-16, the bill's authors lay out the conditions by which MegaMillions and Powerball and other winners would have to pay for their own damn health insurance. That new part takes up a tenth of the length of the entire 66 page bill that escaped Mario Kart character Sean Spicer jigged around and pointed at for its brevity, contrasting it with the monstrously huge stack of pages that make up Obamacare (yeah, the black guy's was bigger and you could do more with it).
And the lottery section is just bizarrely precise in talking about the conditions when a lottery winner wouldn't be able to get Medicaid: "a State shall, in determining such eligibility, include such winnings or income (as applicable) as income received— (I) in the month in which such winnings or income (as applicable) is received if the amount of such winnings or income is less than $80,000; (II) over a period of 2 months if the amount of such winnings or income (as applicable) is greater than or equal to $80,000 but less than $90,000; (III) over a period of 3 months if the amount of such winnings or income (as applicable) is greater than or equal to $90,000 but..." You get the idea.
Obsessively detailed, no?
This is easy to mock in a "God, how fucking dumb are they?" kind of way. Except, instead, looking at why this language is in the bill reveals something just a little more sinister about the hypocrisy under which the GOP is operating to commit this health care fuckery.
One of the reasons that Republicans are desperately trying to cram the bill through like a limp cock on an unlubed asshole is because the Congressional Budget Office hasn't finished its scoring of the bill to see what its effects might be. When the CBO is done, it will likely reveal that the AHCA is, as previously mentioned, a bullshit bill that will cost a ton of money and kick millions of people off health insurance. Republicans in the House, at least, are trying to maintain the illusion that they're not just complete twat mites who want to straight up murder people to give the wealthy a tax cut, but, yeah, that's pretty much what's going on.
A cynical reader might be thinking, "Well, sure, everyone loves the CBO when it gives them the numbers they want. What's the big deal?" But that's not quite cynical enough.
See, the lottery exclusion up there was actually first brought up in 2016 because, apparently, there are enough winners to make a big damn difference: "Using the typical per capita cost for Medicaid adults, this provision would reduce direct spending by $475 million over the 2016-2026 period." You know who came up with that nearly half-billion dollars in savings because of a seemingly odd provision? The Congressional Budget Office.
That's the depth of hypocrisy occurring here. The Republicans need the CBO's figures to write their goddamn bill, but they are running scared from the CBO when it comes to the final bill's effects on Americans. That's the incredible dickishness involved here.
Friday, March 10, 2017
Paul Ryan: "Did You Know Insurance Works Like Insurance?"
Posted by Rude One
Blithering ass pimple Paul Ryan, a man who looks like he's perpetually contemplating how he can get away with getting fucked by a horse dick, said one of the stupidest things anyone in politics has said recently, and that's even counting every word out of Donald Trump's dumb, leathery, old man mouth.
Using the filmstrip of the damned that is PowerPoint, Ryan attempted to explain what is so bad about the Affordable Care Act's insurance mandate, and, in doing so, demonstrated that you can make anything seem sinister with a colorful pie chart.
"The fatal conceit of Obamacare is that we’re just gonna make everybody buy our health insurance at the federal government level. Young and healthy people are going to go into the market and pay for the older, sicker people. So the young, healthy person’s going to be made to buy healthcare, and they’re gonna pay for the person, you know, who gets breast cancer in her 40's, or gets heart disease in his 50's," Ryan said.
You following that so far? Now let's have some motherfuckin' pie: "So take a look at this chart. The red slice here are what I would call people with pre-existing conditions, people who have real healthcare problems. The blue is the rest of the people in the individual market, that’s the market where people don’t get health insurance with their jobs, or they buy it themselves. [For the record, the blue is about 80% of the pie] The whole idea of Obamacare is the people in the blue side pay for the people on the red side. The people who are healthy pay for the people who are sick. It’s not working, and that’s why it’s in a death spiral."
In other words, the insurance works, well, just like fuckin' insurance works. Exactly like insurance works. Every kind of insurance. Your car insurance? Homeowner's? Yep. But, hell, let's put insurance aside for a moment.
By Ryan's reasoning, there is no reason for there even to be a society, let alone a government. Some of you don't have children and you pay property taxes, which, in most states, goes to fund schools, which you don't use because, hey, you don't have any fuckin' children.
Jesus fuckballs, this is even more of a scam than health insurance because there's a good chance you're gonna go to a doctor some day. If you never have kids, you never take advantage of the school system. Why the fuck should you have to pay for it?
You know why we pay for schools for other people's kids? Because that's what the fuck you do or your entire society turns to shit (unless we start sending kids back to work all those coal mine jobs that Trump has promised). And that's why you pay for other people's health care. Because if you don't, you will end up paying, through emergency room visits, lost productivity, and more.
My insurance that I've paid during this relatively healthy time of my life is a hedge against the time when I get cancer from the soon-to-be poisoned water or have a heart attack from watching cock knobs like Ryan attempt to explain why the basic model for the existence of insurance is wrong. I'm not gonna forego insurance because I'm paying for someone's chemo now. What a fuckin' tool I'd be.
And, look, we shouldn't even be talking about fuckin' health insurance. We should be talking about a national health care system that eliminates the profiteering corporations. But we're Americans, and, goddammit, we want people to suffer because we think it's better that people have a fantasy idea of "freedom." Motherfucker, we have jobs and shit to do. And Ryan wants you to take the time to figure out how to get the best price on that stent surgery that you need. That's not freedom. That's fucking with people's lives and making them believe they are free when they are just slaves in your chains of market forces.
Towards the end of his TED-talk from hell, Ryan gave away the game, the real reason why the House GOP is attempting this nonsense: "We, as Republicans, have been waiting seven years to do this. We, as Republicans, who fought the creation of this law and accurately predicted that it would not work, ran for office in 2010, in 2012, in 2014 and in 2016 on a promise that we would -- if given the ability, we would repeal and replace this law. How many people running for Congress and the Senate did you hear say that? How many times did you hear President Donald Trump, when he was candidate Donald Trump, say that? This is the closest we will ever get to repealing and replacing Obamacare. The time is here. The time is now. This is the moment. And this is the closest this will ever happen."
We're all just victims of a tautology that has ensnared the GOP. They swore up and down that they would repeal the Affordable Care Act, and now that they can repeal the ACA, they have to repeal the ACA because they said they would repeal the ACA and now they can repeal...
Except they can't unless they get a critical number of Americans to think, "Wait, I shouldn't pay for shit I'm not using right this second," which, sadly, is probably a convincing argument to the selfish pricks who voted for these assholes like Ryan.
(By the way, the ACA isn't in a "death spiral." Premiums have gone up for just 3% of all Americans with health insurance. That's what we're arguing about here. It's all a fucking game.)
Blithering ass pimple Paul Ryan, a man who looks like he's perpetually contemplating how he can get away with getting fucked by a horse dick, said one of the stupidest things anyone in politics has said recently, and that's even counting every word out of Donald Trump's dumb, leathery, old man mouth.
Using the filmstrip of the damned that is PowerPoint, Ryan attempted to explain what is so bad about the Affordable Care Act's insurance mandate, and, in doing so, demonstrated that you can make anything seem sinister with a colorful pie chart.
"The fatal conceit of Obamacare is that we’re just gonna make everybody buy our health insurance at the federal government level. Young and healthy people are going to go into the market and pay for the older, sicker people. So the young, healthy person’s going to be made to buy healthcare, and they’re gonna pay for the person, you know, who gets breast cancer in her 40's, or gets heart disease in his 50's," Ryan said.
You following that so far? Now let's have some motherfuckin' pie: "So take a look at this chart. The red slice here are what I would call people with pre-existing conditions, people who have real healthcare problems. The blue is the rest of the people in the individual market, that’s the market where people don’t get health insurance with their jobs, or they buy it themselves. [For the record, the blue is about 80% of the pie] The whole idea of Obamacare is the people in the blue side pay for the people on the red side. The people who are healthy pay for the people who are sick. It’s not working, and that’s why it’s in a death spiral."
In other words, the insurance works, well, just like fuckin' insurance works. Exactly like insurance works. Every kind of insurance. Your car insurance? Homeowner's? Yep. But, hell, let's put insurance aside for a moment.
By Ryan's reasoning, there is no reason for there even to be a society, let alone a government. Some of you don't have children and you pay property taxes, which, in most states, goes to fund schools, which you don't use because, hey, you don't have any fuckin' children.
Jesus fuckballs, this is even more of a scam than health insurance because there's a good chance you're gonna go to a doctor some day. If you never have kids, you never take advantage of the school system. Why the fuck should you have to pay for it?
You know why we pay for schools for other people's kids? Because that's what the fuck you do or your entire society turns to shit (unless we start sending kids back to work all those coal mine jobs that Trump has promised). And that's why you pay for other people's health care. Because if you don't, you will end up paying, through emergency room visits, lost productivity, and more.
My insurance that I've paid during this relatively healthy time of my life is a hedge against the time when I get cancer from the soon-to-be poisoned water or have a heart attack from watching cock knobs like Ryan attempt to explain why the basic model for the existence of insurance is wrong. I'm not gonna forego insurance because I'm paying for someone's chemo now. What a fuckin' tool I'd be.
And, look, we shouldn't even be talking about fuckin' health insurance. We should be talking about a national health care system that eliminates the profiteering corporations. But we're Americans, and, goddammit, we want people to suffer because we think it's better that people have a fantasy idea of "freedom." Motherfucker, we have jobs and shit to do. And Ryan wants you to take the time to figure out how to get the best price on that stent surgery that you need. That's not freedom. That's fucking with people's lives and making them believe they are free when they are just slaves in your chains of market forces.
Towards the end of his TED-talk from hell, Ryan gave away the game, the real reason why the House GOP is attempting this nonsense: "We, as Republicans, have been waiting seven years to do this. We, as Republicans, who fought the creation of this law and accurately predicted that it would not work, ran for office in 2010, in 2012, in 2014 and in 2016 on a promise that we would -- if given the ability, we would repeal and replace this law. How many people running for Congress and the Senate did you hear say that? How many times did you hear President Donald Trump, when he was candidate Donald Trump, say that? This is the closest we will ever get to repealing and replacing Obamacare. The time is here. The time is now. This is the moment. And this is the closest this will ever happen."
We're all just victims of a tautology that has ensnared the GOP. They swore up and down that they would repeal the Affordable Care Act, and now that they can repeal the ACA, they have to repeal the ACA because they said they would repeal the ACA and now they can repeal...
Except they can't unless they get a critical number of Americans to think, "Wait, I shouldn't pay for shit I'm not using right this second," which, sadly, is probably a convincing argument to the selfish pricks who voted for these assholes like Ryan.
(By the way, the ACA isn't in a "death spiral." Premiums have gone up for just 3% of all Americans with health insurance. That's what we're arguing about here. It's all a fucking game.)
Monday, March 6, 2017
Sunday, March 5, 2017
Katt Williams TOTALLY DESTROYS DONALD CHUMP!!
Katt Williams destroys Donald Trump in this 2017 stand up - jokes on how Donald Trump won the 2016 election, Trump's campaign promise of Mexican paying for the wall, Katt talks about trump speech and behavior, Katt also talks about Trump's hair and groping women/sexual assault and Melania Trump.
Without mentioning directly, Katt made a reference to the Katt Williams fight hinting why he could not wait to start a new year.
Without mentioning directly, Katt made a reference to the Katt Williams fight hinting why he could not wait to start a new year.
Friday, March 3, 2017
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
Democrats Double Down On LOSING: Elect Corporate Tool DNC Chair
Tom Perez wins the DNC Chair.
Jimmy Dore breaks it down.
Jimmy Dore breaks it down.
Monday, February 27, 2017
Right-wing pundit Laura Ingraham bounced $42,000 check to AP trying to save her floundering website
By David Ferguson
Right-wing radio host and author Laura Ingraham is facing a lawsuit filed by the Associated Press after she bounced a check to the wire service for unpaid fees and lost revenue on her website LifeZette.com.
Mediaite.com reported on Saturday that the AP is suing Ingraham and LifeZette for $50,000 in a suit filed Friday in Washington, D.C. Superior Court.
In July of 2015, LifeZette reportedly signed an agreement with the AP to pay $4,200 per month for the rights to run AP content on its homepage. In February, 2016, the AP canceled the deal due to non-payment.
Ingraham’s company, Ingraham Media Group Inc., sent the AP a $42,611 check last month, but it was returned by the bank over insufficient funds. It was then, Mediaite said, that the wire service chose to take legal action.
“Per the filing, the AP is looking for a total of $49,267. That amount includes $24,937.21 for unpaid fees and $17,674.50 for the revenue AP claims it lost after it was forced to suspend LifeZette’s account. (These two totals equal the amount of the bounced check.) AP is also seeking additional funds in interest and attorney fees,” wrote Mediaite’s Justin Baragona.
Ingraham launched LifeZette in late March of 2015 with the goal of providing conservative readers a one-stop news source in a field already crowded by other outlets like the Daily Caller, the Washington Free Beacon and Breitbart.com.
The website came under fire last year for its perpetuation of “fake news” conspiracy theory stories about Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton.
In spite of its credibility issues, LifeZette was one of the first media organizations called on by Press Secretary Sean Spicer in early press conferences in the White House briefing room, which raised hackles among professional journalists.
Ingraham herself said in late 2016 that she was briefly considered for the position of White House press secretary before the job when to Spicer, formerly a high-ranking official in the Republican National Coalition (RNC).
Talk show host Stephen Colbert accused Ingraham of racism over controversial passages in her book The Obama Diaries, which came out in 2010 and featured racially-charged digs at President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama.
In addition to being abominably written, Colbert told Ingraham that the book relies on “hideous, hackneyed racial stereotypes.”
Colbert asked Ingraham during a notoriously uncomfortable interview, “What are the odds that Barack Obama’s private musings would completely and perfectly match up with the narrative that the right is trying to push about him?”
The book portrayed Michelle Obama as a glutton who ate barbecued ribs at every meal and Obama himself as a selfish egomaniac with a grudge against white Americans.
Right-wing radio host and author Laura Ingraham is facing a lawsuit filed by the Associated Press after she bounced a check to the wire service for unpaid fees and lost revenue on her website LifeZette.com.
In July of 2015, LifeZette reportedly signed an agreement with the AP to pay $4,200 per month for the rights to run AP content on its homepage. In February, 2016, the AP canceled the deal due to non-payment.
Ingraham’s company, Ingraham Media Group Inc., sent the AP a $42,611 check last month, but it was returned by the bank over insufficient funds. It was then, Mediaite said, that the wire service chose to take legal action.
“Per the filing, the AP is looking for a total of $49,267. That amount includes $24,937.21 for unpaid fees and $17,674.50 for the revenue AP claims it lost after it was forced to suspend LifeZette’s account. (These two totals equal the amount of the bounced check.) AP is also seeking additional funds in interest and attorney fees,” wrote Mediaite’s Justin Baragona.
Ingraham launched LifeZette in late March of 2015 with the goal of providing conservative readers a one-stop news source in a field already crowded by other outlets like the Daily Caller, the Washington Free Beacon and Breitbart.com.
The website came under fire last year for its perpetuation of “fake news” conspiracy theory stories about Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton.
In spite of its credibility issues, LifeZette was one of the first media organizations called on by Press Secretary Sean Spicer in early press conferences in the White House briefing room, which raised hackles among professional journalists.
Ingraham herself said in late 2016 that she was briefly considered for the position of White House press secretary before the job when to Spicer, formerly a high-ranking official in the Republican National Coalition (RNC).
Talk show host Stephen Colbert accused Ingraham of racism over controversial passages in her book The Obama Diaries, which came out in 2010 and featured racially-charged digs at President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama.
In addition to being abominably written, Colbert told Ingraham that the book relies on “hideous, hackneyed racial stereotypes.”
Colbert asked Ingraham during a notoriously uncomfortable interview, “What are the odds that Barack Obama’s private musings would completely and perfectly match up with the narrative that the right is trying to push about him?”
The book portrayed Michelle Obama as a glutton who ate barbecued ribs at every meal and Obama himself as a selfish egomaniac with a grudge against white Americans.
Friday, February 24, 2017
Donald Chump = "The Tiger Woods Of Hypocrisy"
Seth Meyers nails Trump for golfing after criticizing Obama for it
In his “Closer Look” segment Thursday, “Late Night” host Seth Meyers noted that many members of Congress would probably prefer to be outside in the sunshine instead of in the hot seat at a town hall.
“You played golf six times in one month,” Meyers said. “Are you the president or a San Diego dentist? Now, some of you are asking, ‘But didn’t he criticize [President Barack] Obama for playing golf. What about that?’ Well, you would be forgetting that when it comes to being a hypocrite, Donald Trump has a zero handicap. He’s the Tiger Woods of hypocrisy!”
Meyers said that most people probably don’t care but it seems that Trump seems embarrassed because his team has worked hard to hide the fact that he’s golfing as much as he is. He cited the White House schedule as announced to the media, which stated Trump would be attending meetings over the weekend. A professional golfer blew his cover, however, when he revealed he was golfing with Trump. The spokeswoman said that Trump played a couple of holes, golfer Rory Mcilroy revealed Trump played all 18 holes.
“No one plays a ‘few holes’ of golf,” Meyers said. “Anyone up for four holes?”
Meyers reported that Trump’s team has been “so shady” that they refuse to even let the press watch the games or even know who he’s playing with. He assumed it has to do with unflattering photos of Trump that surface after he’s seen playing.
“If you looked like this when you golfed, you’d ditch the cameras too,” he said.
Meanwhile, Republicans are contending with angry constituents. A New York Times story cited one man that brought his Congressman a bottle of Tums saying that he’d be needing them over the next several months.
“We’re all going to need Tums because I’m pretty sure it’s the closest things Republicans have to a replacement for Obamacare,” Meyers joked.
Even when Rep. Jason Chaffetz mentioned Vice President Mike Pence he was booed. Meyers noted that Pence has the honor of being booed at a Broadway performance of Hamilton as well as a town hall in Utah.
See Meyers’ full video below:
Republicans Could Be Heroes On Obamacare (And Liberals Should Let Them)
Posted by Rude One
Let me be honest: I'd rather have my prostate checked by Wolverine on a vengeance rampage than help an elected Republican in Congress. But if you are one, chances are you're either facing crowds of angry constituents (and, really, and, c'mon, you can lie to your Twitter followers all you want, but it's mostly your constituents who are showing up) at town hall meetings where they force you to defend the idiot president and your own campaign promises, the ones that really promise to hurt them or their familes, or you're cowering like a beaten puppy in a corner of your local office, avoiding anyone who might tell you to your face what you know is true: "You're full of shit."
Face it, GOP scum. Now that the black guy and that Clinton woman are out of the way as a lightning rod for all the misdirected hatred you could foster, you have nothing between you and the voters. There is no buffer. And anything you do is something you own. Yeah, motherfuckers, acting is a whole lot harder than obstructing. It's a lot easier to talk about killing something than to actually drown the cat or bludgeon the milk man.
But when it comes to the Affordable Care Act, you have painted yourself into a corner and then placed landmines all around the floor. For seven years, it's been a constant chant of "repeal," followed by "repeal and replace," which was already a retreat, an admission that you needed to do something about the uninsured in the United States, that the government had to be involved to some degree, even if it was just with bullshit tax credits.
Now, since the election and certainly in the town halls, what you're hearing, Sen. Tom Cotton of Arkansas, Rep. Jason "Little Rat-Faced Bitch" Chaffetz of Utah, Rep. Diane Black of Tennessee, and so many more, is that the ACA or, you know, Obamacare, is doing what it was supposed to do: give people who previously didn't have access to health insurance a chance to go to the doctor and get treatment without having to choose between medicine or food. People who previously didn't have that access, those who got policies through the exchanges and through expanded Medicaid, have learned that they like being treated like human beings whose lives have worth.
And when you, the GOP Congress men and women, tell them that you are gonna come up with a plan that'll be even better, that you can't give your constituents all the details because it's "still being worked out" or some such shit, that someone's cancer treatment might be interrupted while you attempt to figure out what "replace" is supposed to mean, that to get cancer treatment under the Affordable Care Act is to not want "freedom" or have "individual responsibility," as Vice President Mike Pence alluded to in a tweet, then you are telling those voters that they do not deserve to be treated like human beings. You're saying, senators and representatives, that their cancer treatments and medicine and other health care, their lives, aren't worth the effort to save.
So, yeah, they're pretty fuckin' angry. You've lost on this issue. You can be jerks about it and dick people over. Or you can admit you lost.
Here's the deal, though. I've got a solution. It's so easy that you will come out of the whole thing looking like the most democracy-loving motherfuckers in history, like goddamned heroes. Listen. No, shut the fuck up, GOP assholes, and listen:
You tell the voters that you heard them. Tell your constituents that you understand how important the Affordable Care Act has been. And tell them that because they have spoken so passionately and made so much sense that you are now going to listen to them. You can make a big fuckin' show about it. "Republicans want to take care of all Americans," you can say. Hell, you can even remind us all about how the ACA was a Republican idea to begin with (which, let's be honest, is the reason you can't come up with a replacement).
You don't have to admit error. You can say that you "evolved," which seems to be the term now for "Boy, I was a fucking prick about that. Sorry." And then you can say that instead of "repeal and replace," you're going to "reform and repair" Obamacare.
And you can essentially do nothing. No, really. You can do absolutely nothing except for a few tweaks that it needs to help out the marketplace in some states. Then you can say, "See? We fixed it. Republicans fix things." Hell, Democrats might go along with it, and you can claim a bipartisan victory, that phantom of something that we used to think was important. Your idiot president can make one of his barely coherent speeches about how he fixed the ACA and now it's "Trumpcare."
Now, sure, sure, you're wondering, "Won't people think we're liars and hypocrites?" To which I can only say, "What the fuck do you think people think you are now, GOP?" But, to put it another way, right now, Republican voters are fucking nuts. They honestly believes that millions of people voted illegally. They really think that Donald Trump is doing a good job. A good many of them are convinced that kids are being raped in the basement of a DC pizzeria because "cheese." You just say that this was what you wanted all along. You wanted to hear from your constituents and you listened. And if Trump tweets that out, you're golden. The stupidity of your voters will be your cover.
As for us liberals, we'll gnash our teeth. But, ultimately, we're liberals. We want people to have access to health care. Democratic members of Congress and candidates will likely campaign on, "Oh, c'mon, we were right all along." As well they should. And maybe they'll win with that. However, GOP, you will definitely be losing a lot of races if you take away Daddy's heart surgery and Mommy's chemo.
Oh, dear, sweet, terrible GOP, you have lost Obamacare as an issue. Because Obamacare without "Obama" is just "care," and do you want to be the party that takes that away from millions of Americans?
(Note: Yeah, they probably do.)
Let me be honest: I'd rather have my prostate checked by Wolverine on a vengeance rampage than help an elected Republican in Congress. But if you are one, chances are you're either facing crowds of angry constituents (and, really, and, c'mon, you can lie to your Twitter followers all you want, but it's mostly your constituents who are showing up) at town hall meetings where they force you to defend the idiot president and your own campaign promises, the ones that really promise to hurt them or their familes, or you're cowering like a beaten puppy in a corner of your local office, avoiding anyone who might tell you to your face what you know is true: "You're full of shit."
Face it, GOP scum. Now that the black guy and that Clinton woman are out of the way as a lightning rod for all the misdirected hatred you could foster, you have nothing between you and the voters. There is no buffer. And anything you do is something you own. Yeah, motherfuckers, acting is a whole lot harder than obstructing. It's a lot easier to talk about killing something than to actually drown the cat or bludgeon the milk man.
But when it comes to the Affordable Care Act, you have painted yourself into a corner and then placed landmines all around the floor. For seven years, it's been a constant chant of "repeal," followed by "repeal and replace," which was already a retreat, an admission that you needed to do something about the uninsured in the United States, that the government had to be involved to some degree, even if it was just with bullshit tax credits.
Now, since the election and certainly in the town halls, what you're hearing, Sen. Tom Cotton of Arkansas, Rep. Jason "Little Rat-Faced Bitch" Chaffetz of Utah, Rep. Diane Black of Tennessee, and so many more, is that the ACA or, you know, Obamacare, is doing what it was supposed to do: give people who previously didn't have access to health insurance a chance to go to the doctor and get treatment without having to choose between medicine or food. People who previously didn't have that access, those who got policies through the exchanges and through expanded Medicaid, have learned that they like being treated like human beings whose lives have worth.
And when you, the GOP Congress men and women, tell them that you are gonna come up with a plan that'll be even better, that you can't give your constituents all the details because it's "still being worked out" or some such shit, that someone's cancer treatment might be interrupted while you attempt to figure out what "replace" is supposed to mean, that to get cancer treatment under the Affordable Care Act is to not want "freedom" or have "individual responsibility," as Vice President Mike Pence alluded to in a tweet, then you are telling those voters that they do not deserve to be treated like human beings. You're saying, senators and representatives, that their cancer treatments and medicine and other health care, their lives, aren't worth the effort to save.
So, yeah, they're pretty fuckin' angry. You've lost on this issue. You can be jerks about it and dick people over. Or you can admit you lost.
Here's the deal, though. I've got a solution. It's so easy that you will come out of the whole thing looking like the most democracy-loving motherfuckers in history, like goddamned heroes. Listen. No, shut the fuck up, GOP assholes, and listen:
You tell the voters that you heard them. Tell your constituents that you understand how important the Affordable Care Act has been. And tell them that because they have spoken so passionately and made so much sense that you are now going to listen to them. You can make a big fuckin' show about it. "Republicans want to take care of all Americans," you can say. Hell, you can even remind us all about how the ACA was a Republican idea to begin with (which, let's be honest, is the reason you can't come up with a replacement).
You don't have to admit error. You can say that you "evolved," which seems to be the term now for "Boy, I was a fucking prick about that. Sorry." And then you can say that instead of "repeal and replace," you're going to "reform and repair" Obamacare.
And you can essentially do nothing. No, really. You can do absolutely nothing except for a few tweaks that it needs to help out the marketplace in some states. Then you can say, "See? We fixed it. Republicans fix things." Hell, Democrats might go along with it, and you can claim a bipartisan victory, that phantom of something that we used to think was important. Your idiot president can make one of his barely coherent speeches about how he fixed the ACA and now it's "Trumpcare."
Now, sure, sure, you're wondering, "Won't people think we're liars and hypocrites?" To which I can only say, "What the fuck do you think people think you are now, GOP?" But, to put it another way, right now, Republican voters are fucking nuts. They honestly believes that millions of people voted illegally. They really think that Donald Trump is doing a good job. A good many of them are convinced that kids are being raped in the basement of a DC pizzeria because "cheese." You just say that this was what you wanted all along. You wanted to hear from your constituents and you listened. And if Trump tweets that out, you're golden. The stupidity of your voters will be your cover.
As for us liberals, we'll gnash our teeth. But, ultimately, we're liberals. We want people to have access to health care. Democratic members of Congress and candidates will likely campaign on, "Oh, c'mon, we were right all along." As well they should. And maybe they'll win with that. However, GOP, you will definitely be losing a lot of races if you take away Daddy's heart surgery and Mommy's chemo.
Oh, dear, sweet, terrible GOP, you have lost Obamacare as an issue. Because Obamacare without "Obama" is just "care," and do you want to be the party that takes that away from millions of Americans?
(Note: Yeah, they probably do.)
Tuesday, February 21, 2017
Jack McBrayer & Triumph Visit Chicago's Weiner's Circle
Jack McBrayer & Triumph the Insult Comic Dog pay a visit to Chicago's infamously hostile hot dog stand.
Monday, February 20, 2017
Triumph Attends Trump's Inauguration
CONAN Highlight: Triumph the Insult Comic Dog poops all over the new administration and its supporters.
Friday, February 17, 2017
Trump's First Solo Press Conference As President
Seth Meyers takes a closer look at Trump's press conference full of false claims, grievances and attacks on the media.
Wednesday, February 15, 2017
Monday, February 13, 2017
Mika: 'What Stephen Miller Said Should Worry Everyone' Morning Blow MSNBC
Trump senior advisor Stephen Miller hit the Sunday shows to discuss
everything from voter fraud to immigration. The Morning Blow panel reacts
to Miller's alarming performance.
Sunday, February 12, 2017
Daily White House Press Briefing With Sean Spicer 02/11/2017
Sean Spicer (Melissa McCarthy) and Jeff Sessions (Kate McKinnon) take
questions from the press (Bobby Moynihan, Mikey Day, Vanessa Bayer,
Sasheer Zamata, Cecily Strong, Kyle Mooney).
Sunday, January 29, 2017
Congressional GOP Utterly Silent After Jason Chaffetz Busted Using Personal Email Server
By
In a great ironic twist, Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-UT) has been promising to lead the investigation of Hillary Clinton even now that Donald Trump has become president, and is now under fire himself for use of an illegal private email server.
The Democratic Coalition Against Trump reported Rep. Chaffetz to the FBI, explaining:
The Democratic Coalition Against Trump reported Representative Jason Chaffetz (R-UT) to the FBI on Wednesday morning for possibly breaking Executive Order 13526 and 18 U.S.C. Sec. 793(f) of the federal code, which makes it unlawful to send or store classified information on a personal email. As was recently resurfaced by the Democratic Coalition’s #TrumpLeaks program, Rep. Chaffetz lists his personal Gmail address on business cards brandished with the Congressional seal. Rep. Chaffetz sits on the Subcommittee on Crime, Terrorism, Homeland Security, and Investigations, which has jurisdiction over “internal and homeland security,” among other things.
“The mishandling of classified information that concerns the national security of our nation is something that the FBI takes very seriously,” said Scott Dworkin, Senior Advisor to the Democratic Coalition. “The irony is unparalleled- Representative Chaffetz, the person who led the charge against Secretary Clinton’s personal email server use, could actually be the one who is breaking the law and putting our national security at risk in the process.”
This coalition brings up several good questions.
First, will Chaffetz be able to lead an investigation of Hillary Clinton while he himself is suspected of doing the exact same thing she’s accused of doing?
Second, why is she the only one being investigated, when there is ample evidence of many, many government officials using private email servers, as well as evidence of Donald Trump and his Russian ties communicating through private servers?
Third, why was Hillary’s email an issue at all.
Thursday, January 26, 2017
MSNBC viewers dumping Morning Blow
MSNBC viewers have spoken loudly as Morning Joe’s ratings continue to slide. The conservative talker is now the lowest rated morning show on cable news.
One statistic from TVNewser tells the story of Morning Joe’s decline, “Last year, “Morning Joe” was ranked #28 of all cable news shows in the demo. This January it is #47, and in fourth place in the demo behind “Fox & Friends,” “New Day,” and ‘Morning Express.'” The numbers for Joe Scarborough’s show have fallen apart, “On weekday mornings, CNN’s New Day registered its highest ratings ever in January and posted its largest monthly share of the cable news morning audience since 2009. The program also easily beat MSNBC’s Morning Joe, topping Joe for four straight months in total viewers and seven consecutive months among A25-54. Fox and Friends posted its lowest delivery since 2001.”
MSNBC boss Phil Griffin has continued to tout Morning Joe as one of his successes, but the reality is that MSNBC viewers have no interest in the program. The collapse of Morning Joe highlights one of the biggest inconsistencies in MSNBC’s strategy. Griffin claims that he wants to attract younger viewers to the network, but he appears to be completely in love with a program that does poorly with the same viewers age 25-54 that he is courting.
Morning Joe, along with the rest of MSNBC, is dying a slow ratings death. MSNBC lost 23% of their primetime viewers and 39% of their younger viewers in comparison to January 2014. The problems at MSNBC continue to be driven by leaders who have no clue who their potential viewers are, and what they want. The strategy of deploying series of Rachel Maddow clones throughout the schedule has chased viewers away while diluting the distinctiveness of their star program.
Loyal MSNBC viewers have been unhappy with Morning Joe for years, and they have finally walked away from the program. A Pew study on media polarization found that CNN has replaced MSNBC as the preferred network for liberal. Morning Joe will continue to hurt MSNBC until they realize the common sense idea that liberals and progressives don’t want to listen to three of Joe Scarborough’s Republican talking points.
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
Saturday, January 21, 2017
Who Is Dumber: Bush Or Trump?
Vote at http://tytnetwork.com/dumb
It’s a tough call... Cenk Uygur, Ana Kasparian, John Iadarola, and Jimmy Dore, hosts of The Young Turks, discuss. Tell us what you think in the comment section below. http://tytnetwork.com/go
"Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump said in a radio interview on Tuesday that he thought it was “sad” that former President George W. Bush chose not to vote for him.
“I think it’s sad, you know, when I see George Bush do that,” Trump told host Howie Carr. “Look, I was very critical of him for getting us into Iraq, which was obviously a horrible decision. And getting out the way Obama got us out was a horrible way to get out too — the combination.”
But Trump didn’t seem too worried about losing a couple of votes.
“I don’t think it has any impact, frankly,” he told Carr. “I think it has no impact.”
The former president and his wife, Laura Bush, left the presidential candidate section of their ballots blank, only voting for Republicans in down-ballot races, according to CNN.”*
Read more here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-george-w-bush-vote_us_58227bf1e4b0e80b02cdbf59
Hosts: Cenk Uygur, Ana Kasparian, John Iadarola, Jimmy Dore
Cast: Cenk Uygur, Ana Kasparian, John Iadarola, Jimmy Dore
It’s a tough call... Cenk Uygur, Ana Kasparian, John Iadarola, and Jimmy Dore, hosts of The Young Turks, discuss. Tell us what you think in the comment section below. http://tytnetwork.com/go
"Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump said in a radio interview on Tuesday that he thought it was “sad” that former President George W. Bush chose not to vote for him.
“I think it’s sad, you know, when I see George Bush do that,” Trump told host Howie Carr. “Look, I was very critical of him for getting us into Iraq, which was obviously a horrible decision. And getting out the way Obama got us out was a horrible way to get out too — the combination.”
But Trump didn’t seem too worried about losing a couple of votes.
“I don’t think it has any impact, frankly,” he told Carr. “I think it has no impact.”
The former president and his wife, Laura Bush, left the presidential candidate section of their ballots blank, only voting for Republicans in down-ballot races, according to CNN.”*
Read more here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-george-w-bush-vote_us_58227bf1e4b0e80b02cdbf59
Hosts: Cenk Uygur, Ana Kasparian, John Iadarola, Jimmy Dore
Cast: Cenk Uygur, Ana Kasparian, John Iadarola, Jimmy Dore
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