Posted by
Rude One
When do we get to stop being embarrassed, huh? Every time that President
Donald Trump opens his lamprey mouth and shakes his semen-colored mane,
it's like another shiv in the gut while we stand in the prison shower
that is the United States in 2017.
"Which group of shit-sniffing baboons is he gonna talk to this time?" we
wonder. Will it be the crazed conservative hawks, the ones whose
savagery make Democratic hawks look like confused parakeets?
Will it be
his base, whose heads are evolving into the shape of a permanent dunce
cap, the one-third of the American populace who pretend they want
anarchy when, really, all they want are more guns and fewer dark-skinned
people?
Will it be the unsatiated capitalists, the ones who would
monetize child rape if they thought they could squeeze a few more
pennies out of the bloodied anuses of babies? And usually, it's all
three, to varying degrees, with Trump a carnival barker yelling at the
freaks and carnies to scoop up the spilled popcorn and toss it back in
with the rest to sell again tomorrow.
At the United Nations today, Trump spoke
stiffly and boorishly, his pinch-fingered hand gesticulating like he
was jacking off his own micropenis. It was like some kind of dumb
college prank, where you make the stupidest freshman get up at karaoke
and sing the National Anthem instead of some damn Ed Sheeran song. Put a
MAGA hat on that bitch, and you've got a Trump voter.
Whatever you think of the U.N., most of the leaders in that room are
people who have dedicated their lives to the politics of their nation.
Most of them are vastly educated, well-read, worldly, and, to varying
degrees, smart enough to know a fucking idiot when they see one. So you
had to imagine the reactions to Trump at the General Assembly ranged
from horror to bemusement to calculating how easy it would be to roll
this rube (looking at you, Saudi Arabia).
Did Trump brag about how great things are now that he's been
resident
for all of 8 months? Fuck, yeah, you know he did. Actually, apparently,
his
residency started even earlier: "The United States has done very
well since Election Day last November 8th. The stock market is at an
all-time high -- a record. Unemployment is at its lowest level in 16
years, and because of our regulatory and other reforms, we have more
people working in the United States today than ever before. Companies
are moving back, creating job growth the likes of which our country has
not seen in a very long time."
Yes, I'm sure Hage Geingob, the president
of Namibia, who has a PhD in international relations from the
University of Leeds, really thought that Trump deserved the credit for
this. (By the way, interestingly, Geingob came to the United States to
start college at Temple University, in Philadelphia, in 1964 before
transferring to Fordham University in New York City. Trump started at
Fordham in 1964 before transferring to the University of Pennsylvania in
Philadelphia.)
Were there lines that should have made any sentient world leader just
crack up with sad laughter? You bet. "In America, we do not seek to
impose our way of life on anyone, but rather to let it shine as an
example for everyone to watch," Trump had the gall to say as most of
Central and South America, a good chunk of East Asia, and assorted
islands from all over the world rolled their eyes so hard they saw their
own brain pans.
Sure, but did he sound like a pathetic, low-level thug who wants
everyone to think he's a made man? Aw, come on. That's his default mode.
He warned, "We can no longer be taken advantage of, or enter into a
one-sided deal where the United States gets nothing in return." He
threatened, "The United States has great strength and patience, but if
it is forced to defend itself or its allies, we will have no choice but
to totally destroy North Korea."
And, yeah he called Kim Jong-un "Rocket
Man." In front of the U.N. It's like having your drunk aunt shake her
bare titties at her nephew's graduation.
And, obviously, Trump talked as if no one else there has any idea how
the world works. "If the righteous many do not confront the wicked few,
then evil will triumph," he said in a line that's right out of his
Captain America fanfic. He continued, "When decent people and nations
become bystanders to history, the forces of destruction only gather
power and strength." Certainly, every country that has dealt with
terrorism, which is a fuck-bunch of 'em, appreciated being told they
should not be bystanders.
On it went, with shitting on the Iran deal (which is working, despite
every feeble protest Trump makes), praise for Russia and Turkey, called
out the "loser terrorists," and repeated a blatant lie: "Our country has
achieved more against ISIS in the last eight months than it has in
many, many years combined."
Yeah, it was like piss from heaven that all the golden showers lovers on
his side could bathe themselves in. And everything you need to know
about the speech, and everything that you believe about it, is contained
in how you think about this: One of the first people to
praise
the speech was Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who tweeted,
"In over 30 years in my experience with the UN, I never heard a bolder
or more courageous speech."
Yes, it's so very brave to threaten to wipe out a desperate tiny
country, to walk away from a peace deal, and to ignore the greatest
threat to the planet, climate change, altogether. We're riding the short
bus to Armageddon. And there are no stops ahead.
