Imagine Donald Trump looking out at the 2/3 empty arena in Tulsa, Oklahoma, on Saturday.
Imagine him finally seeing what his team had been prepping him for: the whole event was a bust.
An expensive, overblown, time-wasting bust, reminiscent of so many things in Trump's pathetic life.
Imagine him trying to figure out the greater insult: that he would have to go out and do his dog-and-pony hate show for the stinking rubes who had been standing in the Oklahoma heat, some for 2 days, or that the seats of the arena are blue, a wave of blue, if you will, that looked as if it would crash over him. Imagine him wondering if he could concoct some fake emergency that would whisk him away from the whole shit pile he had walked into and he could let his terrible children or Pence take the hit.
But, no, fuck it, he decided to go out there and vent it all,
let it all hang the fuck out, talking for over an hour and forty
minutes, all repetition and grievance-airing and shit-stirring. It's
like something has finally clicked for Trump: he no longer even makes
the slightest attempt to pretend that any of this is about anything
other than himself. He doesn't give a goddamn if thousands more people
die, if he rips the nation asunder, as long as he gets what the fuck he
believes he's owed: the devotion of those he deems as lessers and a "Get
Out of Jail Free" card, along with whatever coin he pocket in the
meantime.
So, yeah, you've heard about the
lowly highlights of the future Tulsa vector of death, about the "kung
flu" and the slowing down of testing and the endless, just plain fuckin'
deranged explanation of his halting walk down a ramp at West Point,
along with his inability to lift a glass of water like a healthy human.
You've seen that shit. But, like I said, it was 100 minutes long, and
there was no way to demonstrate how completely bugfuck the whole thing
was. So lemme hit you with some of the deep cuts from the speech.
You
want more racism and advocacy for police violence? Here he is on how
ICE should arrest gang members: "ICE, they’re rough guys. they’re great
Americans, but they’ll walk into, they caught them in a pack. They’ll
walk into a pack of tough MS-13 gang members. And we shouldn’t say this,
it’s not nice. They want us to negotiate. They start swinging. And the
other such way, everybody’s swinging, at the end, they carry them back
and they throw them into the paddy wagon. They’re great." Yes, Grandpa
Donny said, "Paddy wagon," and he once again praised law enforcement
officials for beating up non-white people while mass protests are going
on about law enforcement killing non-white people.
Trump
talked about a Democratic presidency and Democratic Congress in
apocalyptic terms. "If Biden is elected, he will surrender your country
to these mobsters 100%... If the Democrats gain power, then the rioters
will be in charge and no one will be safe...Joe Biden and the Democrats
want to prosecute Americans for going to church, but not for burning a
church. They believe you can riot, vandalize and destroy, but you cannot
attend a peaceful pro-America rally. They want to punish your thought,
but not their violent crimes." Damn, I must have missed a meeting or two
of the liberal cabal because I thought we wanted Medicare for All and a
fair tax system that allows us to provide better opportunities for all
Americans. How wrong I've been.
And then, in a
shit tossing moment that would do a cage full of monkeys proud, Trump
threw it all together and topped it with a special sauce of baby murder:
"If Joe Biden were to become president, an emboldened left will launch a
full scale assault on American life. You know that. They’ll expel
anyone who disagrees with them. Look what happens when you disagree. You
use a term that’s perfect and they’re not happy with it. They call you a
racist. They call you a horrible person. They want to crush religious
liberty. They don’t want religion. Silence religious believers,
indoctrinate your children with hateful and vicious lies about our
country, subsidize late term abortion and after birth execution." By the
way, that's verbatim. He leaped from subject to subject like a
jackrabbit that got into the Meth stash. And, by the way again, what
would that "perfect term" that happens to be racist be? 'Cause "kung
flu" isn't perfect by any stretch of the bigoted imagination.
Oh,
and you know how Biden is the center point of all the evil shit that
liberals want to do? Well, not really, because he's actually completely
incapacitated and unable to function. In the middle of talking about
energy and regulations, Trump said, "And with the help of our great
energy workers, many of them come from the great state of Oklahoma. Do
you ever notice that Biden, no, do you ever notice that Biden oftentimes
gets the state wrong? He’s in Iowa and he says it’s good to be in
Idaho. No, no, you’re in Iowa. He’s in New Hampshire and he says it’s
great to be in Ohio. No, no, no, you’re in New Hampshire. That happens
to him all the time, hasn’t happened to me yet." That's right. In the
middle of a completely distracted tangent, Trump talked about how he
thinks Biden gets confused. The man has all the self-awareness of a rat
eating its own babies.
Trump is deeply, deeply
invested in trying to make Biden look old and in mental decline because,
well, by the Trumpian law of projection, Trump is old and in mental
decline. "Joe Biden is a helpless puppet of the radical left, and he’s
not radical left. I don’t think he knows what he is anymore," Trump
said. "Biden is fully controlled by the fringe of his party. He is their
pawn. He doesn’t even know where the hell he is. Let’s face it. He
installed socialist Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to be in charge of his
environmental policy and his energy."
You get the idea.
What
gets me is that in a presumptive campaign speech for a second term,
Trump gave not a single plan or idea for what he'd do. And that's
because, in essence, all he'd do is continue what he's doing: making
appearances where he can bray like a donkey with a giant butt plug
shoved in his asshole and fucking over anyone who doesn't worship him.
He's pretending he got shit done, but I don't get why no one is asking
him, "Hey, motherfucker, you said Mexico would pay for the wall. In
fact, you made all of us say it with you. What the fuck's up with that?"
But
the people in that crowd, the geeks and lepers and goons and whores and
crazies, don't fuckin' care. They just want him to be their surrogate,
their subreddit made flesh, pledging to hurt anyone they've been told
has hurt them, never realizing that the enemy is the one making them
cheer for him sipping water when he really wants to spit it at them.
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