Posted by 
Rude One
Whenever some dingleberry of seeming bias against 
resident Donald Trump
 is sharted out by his state media on Fox "news," the 
resident and his 
supporters will crow that he is "vindicated" of one thing or other, 
usually that his campaign conspired with the Russian government to steal
 the 2016 election. Someone on some goddamn website or Twitter account 
finds some utterly minor thing that, blown up with graphics and set to 
sinister music, can be made to seem like the Deep 
State
 run by Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama is just setting up poor, 
innocent, pure, God-chosen Donald Trump in order to frame him for some 
crime he wouldn't ever even contemplate committing.
They did it with the Uranium One bullshit, 
declaring
 that "the real Russia scandal." They did it with the Nunes memo, which 
just showed that the FBI follows leads. They accuse Republicans Robert 
Mueller and James Comey of bias, which seems to mean, "If you want to 
investigate whether Donald Trump and people around him might have 
committed crimes." And they're doing it with the text messages of a 
couple of FBI agents now, with the latest supposedly 
implicating President Obama (spoiler: it doesn't and you're stupid if you think it does). 
But here's the deal: Not one of these things clears Trump or his awful 
family or his merry band of plague rats and rabid dogs that we are 
forced to call "the White House."
Let's lay it all out as clearly as possible once again (because this is shit I've talked about 
before).
- Hillary Clinton could have totally given away 20% of the U.S. uranium 
deposits to the Russians in order to secure donations to her family's 
charity (honestly, just writing that seems so patently absurd, it hurts 
my brain a little). Sure, she would have had to have bribed or 
threatened the dozens of other people involved in any decision about 
uranium, but, shit, she's Hillary Clinton, allegedly the stone cold 
murderer of dozens of political enemies, so, sure, yeah, let's say this 
could totally happen.
- The FBI could have totally lied about the Democratic Party's 
involvement in the Steele dossier, as the Nunes memo asserts (even 
though, factually, the FBI 
didn't
 lie, but we're saying if horseshit were gold here), in order to 
continue surveillance of Carter Page, which they had started in 2013, 
but, obviously, they totally knew that he would be named by Trump as one
 of his foreign policy advisers and just got a jump on it. 
- James Comey could have totally been compromised into not charging 
Hillary Clinton with a crime on the emails, which somehow translates 
into something something no collusion Bill Clinton and Loretta Lynch in 
the parlor with a candlestick. (I really don't understand the "fuck 
evidence and punch reality in the dick" mindset.)
- Agents Peter Strzok and Lisa Page could have been totally biased 
against Trump and their texts about what an asshole he is indicate that 
they had preconceived notions about whatever part of the investigation 
they worked on. And there could totally be a secret society of FBI 
agents meeting in some off-site coven to do some hoodoo to Trump. And 
today's big revelation, that Page had 
texted
 in September 2016, "potus wants to know everything we’re doing," could 
totally mean Obama wanted to interfere with the Hillary email 
investigation and not that he wanted to know if the United States was 
being cyber-attacked by Russia, which is definitely what it was, but, 
you know, Hillary using a private email server is worse than Watergate 
times Teapot Dome times Iran-Contra, motherfuckers.
Goddamn, you people are fucking nuts.
And, you know, the only way that any of these conspiracies make sense as
 being real is if there is a massive uber-conspiracy involving everyone 
from grunt-level agents to the former president of the United States to 
discredit Trump and his administration, and, even then, it would have 
had to start 5 years ago.
Of course, all Trump needs for all this to work is a few craven 
Republicans, like Devin Nunes and Ron "Secret Sauce" Johnson, to run 
interference, as well as media outlets permanently attached to his 
poisonous man-teats. The idiot hordes will gobble it up like Jesus jizz.
Yet, if every single one of those conspiracies were true, it still does 
nothing to prove that Trump isn't a money-launderer who is in the back 
pocket of Vladimir Putin and other rich as fuck Russians, it does nothing 
to prove that Russia didn't use a bunch of different 
methods
 to tilt the election to Trump, and it also does nothing to change the 
outcome of the 2016 presidential race (the excuse that Trump and his 
spokeslackeys use as the reason why Democrats care about a foreign 
government fucking with our electoral process or that Trump may be 
compromised, not that they might actually give a shit that our 
sovereignty might have been breached). 
If Donald Trump were innocent, you wouldn't need a single one of the 
crazy conspiracies to explain it all away. You'd have the truth. But 
truth is now just a ragged angel whose wings have been perforated by the
 birdshot of unending lies.